wELcOme to my BloG site
Feel free to write ur comments and suGGestionS...


in three words i can sum up everything i've learned about life





*HUGS* TOTAL!
give jhenskie more *HUGS*



as what i've always said: "i'm UNIQUE and ONE of a KIND"...
i know there something in me... that inspite of whatever may happen in my day, i'm going to stay this way: trying and giving LIFE in the BEST WAY i know how...
keeping my spirits up and all things in perspective...
i know it's going to be OKAY...
i've made it thru difficult things before and i always land on my feet... i may not be dancing; may not be always sure about what to do next... but i always manage to figure things out... especially when i'm able to keep my SENSE of HUMOR and not lose my SMILE...
and if i'll just really think about it... i'll realize that i'm a very STRONG individual who knows what i wants and how to get it the best way i can...
someone who may not have all the answers but who is willing to HOPE, TRY and BELIEVE...
that i can see my way thru just about anything; it just all depends on how i look at it... and when people look at me, all they will see is someone who really is...
PRETTY AMAZING...
Whether i'm trying to endure or striving to endeavor, i'll just be the kind of person who can handle all kinds of WEATHER...



...SOMEONE whose ARMS will HOLD me when i'm WEAK
...SOMEONE whose EYES will SEE my UGLIEST
...SOMEOME whose HEART will LOVE me at my WORST
...coz when i find that SOMEONE, i know it's TRUE LOVE!

...SOMEONE who could DANCE with ME under the NIGHT SKY even without the MOON and the STARS... even without MUSIC playing... even if that SOMEONE can't dance well... but still dance with ME...



.:: Bcoz of Ur Love ::.
how can I see Your face
and receive Your loving grace
when I am here shamed in sin
hurting You deep within

yet everytime I run and flee
You take me home forgiving me
with the skies I feel Your touch
no other love can be this much

You are there as I hide
with Your arms open wide

for You alone have the greatest love
the world has ever known
a love that never ceases to embrace a weary heart
and give a brand new start
provides light where the sun has never shown
now I can understand
that I am here because of Your love

so I take Your gentle hand
only to sin again
and yet You turn then stubbornly
you take me home, forgiving me

how can love as great as this
even want to exist
oh God of all that's good and true
please believe I love You too

though I walk through desert's doors
I will fear nothing more

that I am here because...
you are there as I hide with Your arms open wide
though I walk through desert's doors
I will fear nothing more nothing more

as You take me by the hand
that I am here because of Your love




This is meeh...
My name is...
My kiss is...erotic
My hugs are...warm
My eyes...twinkle in the moonlight
My touch is...heart warming
My smell is...amazing
My smile is...encouraging
My love is...one of a kind
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.:: WhaT's On ToP ::.

.:: HeRes sOmE mOrE ::.

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choose an album and click to view pictures...
Daraitan Terrazas de Punta Fuego Puerto Galera
Boracay Mt. Manabu 100 Island
Taytay Falls La Union Mt. Daguldol
Tagaytay Sierra Beach Caramoan Boracay 2005 Laiya Coco Grove MT. Sembrano



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Wednesday, March 30, 2005
.:: the beauty of Nature-pics from our Caramoan Trip ::.



more pictures from our Caramoan trip...  << click here >>

all pictures were taken by urs truly...

 and one more thing...

would you believe me if i told you that the shadow from the next two pictures are both mine...
hehehe... and i am not kidding...
how did it happen... we'll i don't know either... i guess it's the magic of the lens...

 
        -- my sexy shadow --                                     -- my "dabiana" shadow --


SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 07:28 pm
what the soul says (3)  

03.30.05

training day after holy week... (actually naka-vacation mode pa rin ako eh... kaya yung utak ko di pa gumagana para mag-isip ng pwede ko maisulat... but i have to think of something kahit papano para naman ma-update ang blogg ko... hehehe)

at syempre gising naman ako ng maaga... (i have to...) i set my alarm clock at 5:00am but i think bumangon ako mga 5:15am na... (pasaway talaga noh... hehehe) naisip ko kasi late na naman yung iba since kakatapos lang ng bakasyon pero...

whoaaaahh...

nagulat ako... pagdating ko sa may Parking Lot at around 5:45am, they're already having their warm-up...

nakakagulat talaga...

and syempre ano gagawin ko eh di mega-smile na lang ako sa kanila while preparing myself to join them... halos di ko kilala ang mga nag-attend ng training kasi karamihan bago lang sa team... mas madami ang women's crew pero when we are about to go to the docking area... nagdatingan ang mga guys kaya separate boat na rin ang nangyari...

haaaayyyyy... kakapagod... as in sobrang kakapagod...

sino ba naman ang di mapapagod sa "program" na ginawa namin...

1st set - 15mins na walang pahinga... row lang ng row...
den 2mins na rest lang ata or wala pa...
2nd set - another 15mins na walang pahinga... row lang ng row... pero may rule... dapat walang magtataas ng sagwan or else another set na naman... grabe talaga...
pero syempre di maiiwasan yun eh... may mga nagtaas pa din ng sagwan(but i'm not one of them... hehehe... o di ba proud ako...)
kasi nakakapagod talaga... so sa halip na 15mins lang naging 20mins na walang rest ang nangyari sa 2nd set namin...
tapos rest ulit ng kaunting minuto... (take note minuto lang hindi oras...)

actually medyo matagal naman ang kaunting minuto na yan kasi since may new recruit sa boat... kailangan gawin ang "tradition"... yehey... may mag-di-dip sa mabaho at maduming tubig ng Manila Bay... hehehe

but hey... we don't know what went wrong (nag-trip na naman si *****) kaya lahat tuloy kami nag-dip... put*** talaga... wala ka naman magagawa kundi ang sundin kasi bawal umangal eh... haaaaayyyyy...

on our way back to the docking area... another set pa ulit...
by group naman na 100count and hindi lang once... twice namin ginawa...

pamatay talaga...

tapos sinundan ng "starts" is what they call it... (usually ginagawa pag may race)
3-30-20...
3-long and hard
30-digs
20-long all the way...

ginawa namin yun till we reach the docking area...

haaaaayyyyyyyy... salamat... natapos na naman ang isang araw na training...(sa Friday ulit) pero in fairness masarap naman kasi nabatak na naman mga muscles ko... hehehe

after that i had my shower kasi diretso na ako to office...

syempre what's new with the team... di mawawala ang kantyawan...
deadma na lang ako... kasi pag pinatulan ko pa sila lalo lang sila mang-iinis at mang-aasar... (knowing them...haaayyyyy)

well...
wala lang...
gusto ko lang i-kwento how did i start my day...

and yun na nga...

though masarap matulog... kailangan gumising ng maaga...

sabi nga... if you love what u're doing kailangan ng konting sacrifice...
and i can say... kahit papano "love" ko na din ang rowing...
iba kasi feeling ko pag nakasakay na ako sa boat eh...

kung anuman yung feeling na yun...
hmmmmmm... sakin na lang yun...

hehehe...

...actually wala ako maisip na title ng entry na ito kaya the date today na lang nilagay ko... yung pictures ko from our Caramoan trip... inaayos ko pa kasi... pero later post ko din dito... but some of my personal pics... makikita nyo na dun sa moving pics sa profiles ko...

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 02:19 pm
wat do u think???  

Tuesday, March 29, 2005
>> to all my FRIENDS who are...

MARRIED
Love is not about "it's your fault", but "I'm sorry",
not "where are you", but "I'm right here",
not "how could you", but "I understand",
not "I wish you were", but "I'm thankful you are."

ENGAGED
The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other.

NOT SO SINGLE
Love isn't about becoming somebody else's "perfect person." It's about finding someone who helps you
become the best person you can be.

HEARTBROKEN
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

NAIVE
How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain.

PAKIPOT
True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. Love is magic. The more we hide it, the more it shows, the more you suppress it, the more it grows.

PLAYBOY TYPE
Never say I love if you don't care.
Never talk about feelings if they aren't there.
Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart.
Never look in the eye when you do is lie.
The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall. (of course, the guy can be a girl you know!)

POSSESIVE
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

AFRAID TO CONFESS
Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you.
But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

STILL HOLDING ON
A sad thing about life is that when you. Meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and we just have to let go.

SINGLE
Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it would come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often times it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is worth. So take your time and choose the best.

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 02:08 pm
wat do u think???  

Wednesday, March 23, 2005
.:: naisip-naiisip-iisipin ::.

wala na naman ako magawa kaya heto na naman ako...
nag-iisip...
nag-iisip...
at nag-iisip pa din...

walang katapusang pag-iisip...

binabalikan ang lahat nangyari as nakaraan...
pero bakit ko nga ba ginagawa pa ito???
bakit ko kailangang balikan pa ang nakaraan... di ba kaya nga sya tinawag na "past" eh lumipas na... ibig sabihin tapos na... ibig sabihin di na maibabalik pa...

pero sa tuwing binabalikan ko ang nakaraan... hindi ko maintindihan kung ano nararamdaman ko or ang gusto ko maramdaman...

naisip ko...
pano kaya kung hindi ko nasambit ang mga salitang... "sino ba yang si *toot *toot na yan?" at di ka tumayo sa pagkakaupo mo para sabihin sa isang mataray na katulad ko na ikaw nga yun...

naisip ko...
pano kaya kung sa mga araw noon na nagkakatampuhan tayo hindi ko inisip na importante ka kasi itinuring na kitang isang matalik na kaibigan...

naisip ko...
pano kaya kung nung araw pa lang na nag-decide ako na iwasan ka na kasi iba na ang nararamdaman ko eh hindi na nagbago ang isip ko at hindi ko na hinayaan na magkaroon ka pa ng malaking puwang sa buhay ko kahit na paulit-ulit pa sabihin sakin ng tita ko na "hindi na ako makakakita ng isang kaibigan na katulad mo..."

naisip ko...
pano kaya kung nung araw na sinabi ko sayo na "ayoko na, it all ends here..." kahit na magdamag akong umiiyak habang nagpapalitan tayo ng text messages... kinaya ko ng lahat yun at hindi ko na inisip kung ano ang nararamdaman mo ng mga oras na yun...

naisip ko...
pano kaya kung nung binitawan mo sakin ang mga salitang "would you be my girlfriend?" hindi ko na lang pinasin ang sinabi mo at nagkunwari na lang akong walang narinig ng mga oras na yun...

naisip ko...
pano kaya kung nung gabi na umalis ako at iniwan kita... hindi na ako bumalik nung umaga para sabihin sayo na "mula ngayon hindi na ako aalis at di na kita iiwanan ulit..."


madami pa akong naiisip sa tuwing darating ang ganitong pagkakaton na wala akong ginagawa kaya cguro naiisip ko ang mga bagay-bagay sa nakalipas...

pero sa kabila ng lahat ng pag-iisip tungkol sa nakaraan...

naiisip ko din naman na...
kung hindi kita nakilala hindi ako mamumulat sa ibang mundo na dati ay ako lang ang laman...

naiisip ko din naman na...
kung hindi dahil sayo hindi ko malalaman ang tunay na kahulugan ng salitang "kaibigan" at "pagmamahal" sapagkat ipinakita mo sakin kung ano ang kahalagan ng bawat isa...

naiisip ko din naman na...
kung hindi dahil sayo at sa pagmamahal na binigay mo na kahit pansamantala lang... baka hanggang ngayon "bato" pa din ako at hindi marunong "umiyak"

at higit sa lahat...
naiisip ko din naman na...
ikaw ang naging daan kung bakit ako napalapit sa KANYA... dahil sayo nakilala ko SYA ng lubusan at tulad ng ng papalgi mo sinasabi sakin nun... pareho tayong malakas sa KANYA sapagkat wala pa tayong hinihiling na hindi NYA ibinibigay... nagkamali nga lang talaga siguro ako ng inisip ko na ang pareho tayo ng kahiligan sa KANYA...


nakakapagod ang mag-isip lalo na kung ang iniisip natin eh ang mga bagay na kahit na anong gawin natin wala na tayong magagawa pa...

kaya ngayon ang tanging pa-kunswelo ko na lang sa sarili ko ay ang isipin ang mga bagay na makakatulong sakin upang patuloy kong harapin ang hamon ng buhay...

sa ngayon...

iisipin ko na lang na...
masaya ka na sa lahat ng ginagawa mo...

iisipin ko na lang na...
magkaiba na ang direksiyon ng buhay nating dalawa at malabo na nga siguro magtagpong muli...

iisipin ko na lang na...
ang pagadating mo sa buhay ko ay isang paraan lamang NYA upang mas matuto ako at mas maging matatag pa...

at higit sa lahat...
masakit man isipin at gawin pero kailangan na...
iisipin ko na lang na...
isa ka na lang bahagi ng aking nakaraan ko na di na dapat isipin pa at kailangan ko ng kalimutan...

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 02:13 pm
wat do u think???  

= LOVE & FRIEND =

LOVE and FRIEND,

they are walking in the village one day...


LOVE falls into a well...

why?

because LOVE is BLIND...


FRIEND also jumps inside

why?

'coz a FRIEND will do anything

for LOVE...

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 10:17 am
wat do u think???  

Tuesday, March 22, 2005
.:: excited na ako!!! ::.

isang tulog na lang!!!

CARAMOAN
here we come...




CARAMOAN PENINSULA - CAMARINES SUR, BICOL

pictures from lakbaypilipinas.com... 

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 06:57 pm
what the soul says (1)  

Monday, March 21, 2005
.:: the MOUNTAINS of LIFE ::.

this was sent to me from the Warrior of the Light and i find it very ineteresting and just wanna share it to everybody out there...

--------------oooooooooooooooooooooo--------------

-o- Manual for Climbing Mountains -o-

Choose the mountain you want to climb: don’t pay attention to what other people say, such as "that one’s more beautiful" or "this one’s easier". You’ll be spending lots of energy and enthusiasm to reach your objective, so you’re the only one responsible and you should be sure of what you’re doing.

Know how to get close to it:
mountains are often seen from far off – beautiful, interesting, full of challenges. But what happens when we try to draw closer? Roads run all around them, flowers grow between you and your objective, what seemed so clear on the map is tough in real life. So try all the paths and all the tracks until eventually one day you’re standing in front of the top that you yearn to reach.

Learn from someone who has already been up there:
no matter how unique you feel, there is always someone who has had the same dream before you and ended up leaving marks that can make your journey easier; places to hang the rope, trails, broken branches to make the walking easier. The climb is yours, so is the responsibility, but don’t forget that the experience of others can help a lot.

When seen up close, dangers are controllable:
when you begin to climb the mountain of your dreams, pay attention to the surroundings. There are cliffs, of course. There are almost imperceptible cracks in the mountain rock. There are stones so polished by storms that they have become as slippery as ice. But if you know where you are placing each footstep, you will notice the traps and how to get around them.

The landscape changes, so enjoy it:
of course, you have to have an objective in mind – to reach the top. But as you are going up, more things can be seen, and it’s no bother to stop now and again and enjoy the panorama around you. At every meter conquered, you can see a little further, so use this to discover things that you still had not noticed.

Respect your body:
you can only climb a mountain if you give your body the attention it deserves. You have all the time that life grants you, as long as you walk without demanding what can’t be granted. If you go too fast you will grow tired and give up half way there. If you go too slow, night will fall and you will be lost. Enjoy the scenery, take delight in the cool spring water and the fruit that nature generously offers you, but keep on walking.

Respect your soul:
don’t keep repeating "I’m going to make it". Your soul already knows that, what it needs is to use the long journey to be able to grow, stretch along the horizon, touch the sky. An obsession does not help you at all to reach your objective, and even ends up taking the pleasure out of the climb. But pay attention: also, don’t keep saying "it’s harder than I thought", because that will make you lose your inner strength.

Be prepared to climb one kilometer more:
the way up to the top of the mountain is always longer than you think. Don’t fool yourself, the moment will arrive when what seemed so near is still very far. But since you were prepared to go beyond, this is not really a problem.

Be happy when you reach the top:
cry, clap your hands, shout to the four winds that you did it, let the wind - the wind is always blowing up there - purify your mind, refresh your tired and sweaty feet, open your eyes, clean the dust from your heart. It feels so good, what was just a dream before, a distant vision, is now part of your life, you did it!

Make a promise:
now that you have discovered a force that you were not even aware of, tell yourself that from now on you will use this force for the rest of your days. Preferably, also promise to discover another mountain, and set off on another adventure.

Tell your story:
yes, tell your story! Give your example. Tell everyone that it’s possible, and other people will then have the courage to face their own mountains.


--------------oooooooooooooooooooooo--------------

all of us has our own mountains to climb to... it's just up to us what kind of facing were going to consider... for every trail is another experience and much more lesson to learn... HE won't give us this mountains if HE knew that we cannot reach it's top...

 

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 03:52 pm
what the soul says (2)  

.:: the weekend that past ::.

haaaaaayyyyyy... Monday again... i just hope the next 3days of the week is not as TOXIC as the previous week...
but anyways, i enjoy my weekend naman so okei lang din kahit sobrang TOXIC ako last week...

Saturday
morning, kahit feeling ko 1hour pa lang ang tulog ko i have to wake up when my alarm clock says that it's already 5:30am... i have to train rowing if i really want to join the Boracay race on May... and as usual, we spent almost an hour & half sa mabaho at maduming water ng Manila Bay ('coz we no choice) pero okei lang... kahit medyo pagod sarap naman ng feeling kasi nabatak na naman mga muscles ng katawan ko...
afternoon, syempre need ko pumasok sa office kahit ayoko kasi ang sarap matulog but still i have no choice... hehehe... i stayed there till 3:30pm and i need to be in Magallanes(MRT Stn) by 4pm (pero im 10mis late) wer i will meet my friends kasi may pupuntahan kami binyagan somewhere in Q.C.
Something not good happened 'coz one of our friends whose been waiting for us (w/c i didn't know) in Muñoz is already mad kasi nga late na daw kami sa usapan... she texted me something na di ko nagustuhan kaya nagpalitan kami that time ng text message sa isa't isa... but knowing each other syempre naayos din naman namin kaagad yun (sana nga okei na kami tulad ng iniisip ko...) after ng binyag we syempre reception na w/c means "lamon" to the max... hehehe
it's already 11:30pm nung umalis kami ng Q.C. and they decided to stay in one of my friends house in Novaliches kasi mas malapit daw but i can't 'coz i have to go went home (Lipa,Batangas) on Sunday early morning 'coz i told my mom that i am going home... so madaling salita nakisabay ako sa ibang friends namin na same way as mine... i was supposed to stay at my dorm in Buendia but they insisted na mag-stay na lang ako dun sa house nung isang friend namin in San Andres kasi dun yung way nila and they don't want me to go home alone... (hmmm, pwede naman nila ako ihatid...hehehe) since ayaw talaga nila ako pababain ng sasakyan... still, i have no choice but to come wid them and stayed there for the night.

Sunday
morning, hindi din naman ako nakatulog... but i have to leave early nga kasi uuwi pa ako ng Lipa... they too wake up early kasi mag-ro-row ulit sila that Sunday morning pero di na ako sumama... dumaan lang ako g dom ko to get my things and diretso na ako sa terminal ng bus going to Lipa. haaaaayyyy, sarap matulog sa byahe... as in nakatulog ako and nagising na ako malapit na ako bumaba...(buti di ako nakalampas tulad ng malimit mangyari sakin kapag puyat ako... hehehe) it's already 7:00am ng dumating ako ng bahay, as usual ano pa ba gagawin ko... after i had my breakfast and make "kulit" ng konti sa mga cousins ko na natulog na ako... nagising ako 12pm na kasi lunch na...
then i received a text message from one of my college friend and she's aking me if i want to come to her to mass in Greenbelt and after we were going to watch a movie... hmmmm, i was thinking before i relied to her... so i said yes...
i leave at 2:30pm and we were supposed to meet at 5pm but then while on my way i ask her if we can just meet at 6pm instead at 5pm kasi feeling ko di ako aabot ng 5pm sa dorm... pero 430 pa lang asa dorm na ako so i have to wait for an hour pa...
but i decided to leave early na lang din sa dorm kasi naisip ko punta ako ng GreenBelt para lang mag window shopping... hehehe... hmmm, but when i saw something that i really want hindi ko rin napigilan ang sarili ko na hindi bilihin kahit wala na naman sa budget ko... (hayyy, what's new) before 6pm andun na ako sa GBelt chapel pero ala pa yung friend ko... knowing her... as usual, always late... after the mass we went to G4 to look for the movie sched and since the movie will start at 8:30pm, we decided to have our dinner first... we ate at Chef Angelo (t'was my first time to eat there and i can say that the food was great)...
kwentuhan to the maxx kaming dalawa kaya hindi namin napansin na 8:30 na pala kaya hindi tuly namin nasimulan yng movie (ROBOTS) na papanoorin namin... t'was a very nice movie... hindi lang sya pambata at nakaka-enjoy talaga... after the movie, stay pa din kami moviehaus kasi hindi nga namin nasiumulan... and while waiting for it to start again... kwentuhan to the maxx na naman kami... dami namin napag-kwentuhan dalawa... about life, love, relationship... etc.

"relationship is like credit account and for it to work out... wherein only good memories are being deposited there... and once you came to the point wherein you feels that your relationship is on the rocks... it's the time you need a withdrawal... it's like this daw... sa isang relationship dapat yung good memories together lang ang iniipon para once magakaroon ng problema or away or antything, isipin nyo na lang yung lahat ng good memories nyo together... kasi once gawin mo yun... mas madali ang tanggapin ang pagkakamali ng isa't isa at makalimutan ang lahat..."

o di ba nice...

i got home at 11:30pm and while i was thinking about how was my weekend...
i just told myself that i really had a nice weekend...
it maybe short but i can say that it was the best weekend since the start of the year... and i'll look forward for more weekends to come wherein i will not only enjoy but somehow i will learn something from it...

for all my friends, i guess thank you is not enough...
but i am so lucky that i have firends like all of you guys...

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 02:46 pm
wat do u think???  

Saturday, March 19, 2005
.:: para sa mga "X" out there ::.

hey themildbrew if i am not mistaken this article was written by someone from peyups... 

neways, post ko na lang din para mas madami makabasa... lam ko kasi marami makakarelate d2 sa article na ito...

 

sa dami ba naman ng mga "x" sa mundo...

 

mga nilalang na wala namang ginawa kundi magmahal lang ng tapat at hindi naghangad ng kapalit subalit sa bandang huli iniwan at sinaktan pa din ng kaisa-isang tao na pinagbuhusan ng emotion at oras...

 

well, ganun lang talaga ata ang buhay... meron lang talaga cguro mga taong hindi makuntento or talagang hindi lang kayo ang nakatadhana...

o sya para sa mga "x" dyan... para sa atin ito...


I am an ex.
I once loved someone who loved me back. But he didn't want to stay...
So I had to let him go. I cried. A lot. I spent countless nights wondering what went wrong, muffling my sobs with my pillows so my parents wouldn't suspect that something was amiss. I'd reminisce about our happy times, then break down when I'd realize that he was no longer mine. Analyzing every single detail of our break-up.
I wrote long e-mails to my closest friends. I talked endlessly about my situation. I spent my nights in tearful telephone conversations and my days in daydreams where we'd end up in each other's arms again.
Sometimes he was still my angel, still my knight in shining armor who I'd do anything for just to have back. But sometimes, I saw him as the devil incarnate who broke my heart in the worst possible way, and who deserved to be worshipped at the very least.

I told myself that it was all for the better. That this was what was best for the both of us. That this was God's plan. My friends offered similar advice, none of which I hadn't heard before:

"It's a sign that you're not meant for each other",

"When God closes a door, He opens a window",

"Someone better is coming for you",

"There are so many other fish in the sea"

etc...

But it didn't work. Because deep down, I still believed that he was the one, the only one. And I couldn't understand how this was all for the better... when every day seemed more torturous than the last... not being able to be with him the way I wanted to be, seeing him so unaffected, and dealing with my broken-and-smashed heart and my bruised ego.

I tried to immerse myself in other activities to forget about him. I went out a lot. I filled my
schedule with movie marathons, shopping sprees, and Disco. It worked for a while... but then there were times -- times when my mind was cleared of the busy thoughts I tried to occupy it
with -- that I would think of him. His memory would sneak up to me on tiptoes, catching me in my most vulnerable moments.

I tried to show the world that I was OK. That I was over him. That it was fine just being friends. I didn't go around with a big "X" on my forehead, nor did I go around with puffy eyes and a tissue box. I tried to live my life, as I knew it before I met him. People thought that I was doing great. They heard me laugh and they saw me smile; I seemed happy, they said; and I told myself that I was. But in the solace of my room, where I tried to organize my thoughts and sort out my feelings, I had to admit to myself that I wasn't truly happy. Because I was still yearning for someone, and my heart still ached for something that could not be.

It's been quite sometime since we broke up, surprisingly, things have gotten better. I've changed. Somewhere along the way, I realized that he wasn't the only one out there for me. I also realized that there were valid, powerful reasons why we split up. And I've become stronger, older, and wiser. He's changed as well -- when I look at him, sometimes I still see the boy I fell in love with. Sometimes I think that he's the same person... he still has the same goofy smile and mischievous charm that I fell for, and I like to believe that the rest of him is unchanged as well. But then I take a closer look and I realize that he HAS changed...

 

that I don't know him anymore... not really....

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 01:40 pm
 

Friday, March 18, 2005
.:: sa mundo natin... NOON at NGAYON ::.

dis was texted to me by a friend last night while i was watching Stairway to Heaven and when i read it...
natawa na lang ako...here it goes:


"sA mUndo naTin nOon kaPag naGmaHaL Ka maGigIng maSaYa Ka daHiL Sayo LaNg Sya... pEro Sa muNdo naTin nGayOn paG maY mInaHaL Ka... PuTChA... maLinGaT ka LaNg inaGaw na nG iBa!!!"


...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...tapos eto ang kasunod ng text nya...

"send mo yan sa GF ng ex mo..."

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 11:48 pm
what the soul says (2)  

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