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Friday, April 15, 2005
.:: my favorite friend! ::.
"te jhen, muzta k na?"
a text message i received yesterday from my favorite friend...
a friend who really makes me feel my worth kasi kahit sa text or chat lang ang means of communication namin. i can sense that she really appreciate not only me but my opinion as well.
kahit na minsan paulit-ulit lang topic ng kwentuhan namin i never get tired of giving her an advise (especially at heart... hehehe as if i'm too knowledgeable about that matter...)
some people might see her as the type of girl na nagpapaiyak ng mga guys because of her beauty...
yep, she's beautiful, charming and very sweet.
she never forgets me inspite of what happen (whatever it is... it's off topic already... hehehe)... but they're all wrong, she's just one of the many (like meeh) who gave her love too much to someone who never appreciate her existence...
she always make "kwento" about how was her day and how that "walang kwentang" guy make her think of him too much... it's not easy for her also to forget that "walang kwentang" guy... she's jobless right now for a reason that i'd rather not mention but she's eager to have a job (which i know she can) but all i can give her is the encouragement that GOD has good plans for her.
everytime we talked, she never forget to asked me how was my "lovelife" now... (as if i have one... hehehe) she knows what i've been into for a year that passed... and i've learned so many things from her also...
especially "unconditional love"...
because she has too much of it... and she always show it to the world...
another text from her last night was this...
"one year na tayo pareho walang bf... tayo na lang kaya dalawa... parang lesbian! hehehe. joke!, cge pahinga ka na at baka pumayat ka"
when i read that, it makes me smile and i replied her with this one...
"sayang ang beauty nating dalawa kung magpapaka-lesbian lang tayo. hayaan mo meron nilaan si GOD para sa ating dalawa. yung hindi na tayo papaiyakin at sasaktan. enjoy lang. gudnyt."
...to you my favorite friend:
thanks for the appreciation...
thanks for the friendship...
thanks for everything...
always take good care of yourself...
and always remember that no matter what happen... i will always be your "ate jhen"
i miss you so much... i'll wait for the time that we'll see each other again...
when and how?
let's just leave it to HIM...
 SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 06:36 pm
soul searcher here...
.:: my favorite friend! ::.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
current listening: Secret Garden by Bruce Springsteen (OST-Jerry Maguire)
"YOU COMPLETE ME" a popular line from the movie "Jerry Maguire(1996)".
one of my favorite movie of all time... i cannot forget the last part of the movie wherein Jerry Maguire (Tom Cruise) uttered those words to Dorothy Boyd (Renée Zellweger)...
haaaaayyyy, how i wish i was her...
the feeling of being important to someone whom we love the most...
maybe it's natural for us (especially those who are looking for their special someone) to think that what we wanted is somebody that will somehow complete the missing pieces in our puzzle of life...
that somehow we're wishing for...
someone who'll wait for us no matter how late we are from the time expected...
someone who'll be there for us when we give them a ring...
someone who'll stay awake just to watch us sleep...
someone we wanted to be with when there is a new movie showing...
someone whose after an argument will just give us a hug and as if nothing happens...
someone who'll show us off to the world without any hesitation on his part...
someone who holds our hands in front of his "barkada"
someone who'll understand us no matter what...
and someone who'll stay with us forever as we grow old...
but hey...
isn't it nice that instead of wishing for that someone... we became that someone...
that instead of waiting for someone who will complete us, we be that someone who'll make them complete when they met us...
i know it's not that easy... but for me one thing is for sure...
i don't want that someone whom i can say that "HE MAKES ME and my LIFE COMPLETE" anymore
but rather i will try to be that someone who will complete him so that when time came that he realized my worth in his life and felt lucky for having me... i will heard from him the lines...
"YOU COMPLETE ME"
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 02:08 pm
soul searcher here...
.:: You Complete Me ::.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
.:: bawal basahin ang nakasulat dito! ::.
may kahabaan nga lang pero may katuturan...
------------------------------ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-------------------------------
"WHAT'S THE PROBLEM???"
ang tanong ng bago kong boss sa isang kasamahan. Kasama ako sa sasakyan na hindi makaalis-alis dahil sa red tape. Mukhang naghihintay pa ng pampadulas ang mga kinauukulan. Kuripot ang amo kong banyaga. Hindi nagbitiw kahit singkong duling. Makakalabas daw kami sa gate nang hindi nagbabayad ng kung ano-ano dahil yun daw ang ligal.
Ma-prinsipyo.
Bilib ako.!
"That's why the Philippines remain so poor!" sabi nya.
Mainit, pagod kami, at medyo bwisit. Doon nag-umpisa ang bwisit na kwentuhan. Na-culture shock daw sya sa Pilipinas pagtapak nya dito anim na taon na ang nakalipas. Laganap daw ang lagayan... at hindi sa pamamaraang patago. Hindi nya maintindihan kung bakit pumapatol daw tayong mga Pilipino sa ganito, gayong tayo rin ang nahihirapan. Kaya may mga nangongotong, dahil may nagpapakotong.
Tinahak namin ang Navotas papuntang pier. Akmang-akma ang lugar para lalo akong balahurain ng employer ko. "Manila (Metro Manila) is one of the dirtiest cities in the world" sabi nya. Parang musika sa tenga ko ang sinabi nya. Muntik ko na nga syang ilaglag sa sasakyan. Pero mas malakas ang sipa ng katotohanan. Madumi nga yung lugar na yon.
"And it stinks, too!" dagdag nya.
"Filipinos hate Manila the way Americans hate New York", sabi ko.
"Who loves busy, polluted cities, anyway?"
Tumango sya at sinabing alam nyang marami naman daw magagandang lugar ang Pilipinas, pero hindi nya pa napupuntahan. Aha! Claire Danes syndrome, hinusgahan nya ang buong bansa ganong kili-kili pa lang nito ang nakikita nya!
Pero maganda nga ang tanawin sa aming paglalakbay. Mga batang walang panty at nilalangaw ang mukha. Mga kalalakihang walang t-shirt at bagsak ang katawan sa shabu. Mga babaeng... mga babaeng... wala Kaming gaanong nakitang babae, dahil natatakpan sila ng sampung anak nila na busy sa pagsuso. Ayos din ang mga tenement. Sa malayo mukhang mga rectangular na smokey mountain. Sa malapit mukhang bangungot.
Yan ang view sa kaliwa namin. Gusto ko sanang tukuran ang mukha ng boss ko para wag nang makalingat sa kanan kung saan mas maraming tigyawat ang Pilipinas, pero nakita nya pa rin: mga basura, bahay, at bata na hindi mo malaman kung ano ang alin dahil sa kapal ng itim na usok ng mga sasakyan.
Marami syang komento, sinabi ko na lang,
"Well, what do you expect from a third world country?" Talo na ko. Tama na ang yabang.
Pinag-usapan namin ang tungkol sa negosyo nya... na nauwi na naman sa gobyerno natin. Sandamukal daw ang mga buwaya, red tape, graft, at corruption dito. Tinanong ko kung baka dahil lang sa kulay ng balat nya kaya sya ginagatasan.
Ang sagot nya: "No,Filipinos do it even to other Filipinos!"
Kitang-kita ko ang pagbagsak ng bandera
ng Pilipinas sa sinabi nya, naramdaman ko pa ang pagtama ng flag pole sa ulo ko! Nagdugo.
Maiintindihan nya raw kung mahihirap ang magnanakaw. Pero sa bansa natin, mga mayayaman ang malilikot ang kamay... mga edukado, titulado, at nasa gobyerno.
No, Filipinos do it even to other Filipinos.
No, Filipinos do it even to other Filipinos.
No, Filipinos do it even to other Filipinos.
Patuloy ang pagtugtog nito sa isipan ko. Ikinuwento nya rin ang ginawa sa kanya ng isa nyang empleyadong Filipina. Pinagbalakan syang pikutin nito. Oo nga naman, instant fortune yon kung saka-sakali. Mahahango sa hirap ang pinay na yon at ang kanyang pamilya.
Aba, andami na nating success stories na ganyan. Kahit ang leader ng bansa, ganyan ang konsepto ng pag-unlad. Napag-usapan ang kultura, ang sex. Mababa rin ang tingin nya sa mga Filipina. Sabi ko e marriage before sex ang kultura sa Pilipinas. Umiling sya, Pinoy daw mismo ang nagsabi sa kanyang pakawala ang mga babae dito at mag-e-enjoy sya.
Sabi ko, "Those are bitches and the guy who told you that is a pervert."
Professional at kakilala ko pa pala ang nagkwento sa kanya. Assh***.
Totoo ang mga kwento ng boss ko. Nakakangilo sa ngipin, pero totoo. At bagama't nakakapikon sya minsan e mabait at mabuti syang tao. Sa bayan nila, hinihikayat ang mga tao na umunlad. Dito raw sa atin, pag umuunlad ang tao, hinihila pababa. Nakakatakot mag-negosyo kasi yari ka sa mga
"tauhan" ng gobyerno. Pag nakitang namumunga ka, babatuhin ka nang babatuhin hanggang sa malaglag ang mga prutas mo. Walang pinagkaiba kung ligal o iligal ang negosyo mo... maglalagay at maglalagay ka rin sa mga kinauukulan. Bakit ka pa magli-ligal??? Hindi ko na babanggitin ang
negosyo at bayan ng amo ko. Hindi pinag-uusapan dito kung "racist" sya o mas maraming kapintasan ang bansa nila. Ang issue dito ay "tayo". Hindi ako naiinis sa mga sinabi nya. Naiinis ako dahil TOTOO ang mga sinabi nya.
Sa pag-uwi ko sa bahay naisip ko: Bakit ang Hong Kong at Singapore, hindi naman gaanong nabiyayaan ng likas na yaman pero maunlad? Bakit ang mga Hapon, bobo mag-English pero mayaman? Sa Pilipinas kahit bawal magtinda sa sidewalk, may nagtitinda. Kahit bawal magtapon ng basura kung saan-saan, meron pa ring tapon nang tapon. Paano pa kaya uunlad ang bansa natin nyan?
Disiplina lang kaya talaga ang problema sa tin?
Sigurado akong kahit sa mga sandaling to, may isang bumabasa ng lahat ng nakasulat dito kahit na
sa pamagat pa lang nakasaad na bawal ito basahin.
Tigas talaga ng ulo!
May magagawa pa tayo bukod sa hindi pagbasa nito!
------------------------------ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-------------------------------
~while browsing my previous emails nakita ko ang article na ito... tulad nyo binasa ko din kahit na malinaw na malinaw na sa title pa lang nakasaad na "bawal basahin ang nakasulat dito!"... pero ano nga ba ang pinahihiwatig ng article na ito... kayo na lang ang bahalang mag-isip at mag husga sa nais ipahiwatig ng sumulat ng article na ito...~
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 04:18 pm
soul searcher here...
.:: bawal basahin ang nakasulat dito! ::.
Monday, April 11, 2005
.:: somewhere out there ::.
 |
somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight
Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there
And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky
Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true... |
"Somewhere Out There" is my all time favorite song since i was a child...
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 02:39 pm
soul searcher here...
.:: somewhere out there ::.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
.:: a tiring wikend... thinking ::.
haaaaaaaaaayyyyyy... another weekend of being alone sa bahay kaya eto spending the time here in the i-net cafe (what's new)... my mom kept on texting and calling me last night pero di ko sinasagot... she's asking kasi kung wala ba ako balak umuwi dis weekend since holiday naman today (Sat.April19.BataanDay)... pero syempre di ko sinasagot mga txt and calls nya... ayoko na kasi ng explanation (bad girl dba?)...
syempre being the "pasaway" kahit kailangan ko pa mag-rest after what happened to me last Monday night... i decided not to go home (to province) instead mag-attend na lang ako ng training ko ng rowing... 2days din kasi ako di nakapag-train... nag-feeling na kaya ko na but the truth is... waaahhhhhhhhh :-( while we were doing the 3sets of 250counts (w/out resting) i can feel my upper back still aching... but since asa boat na ako... i have no other choice but to row...row... and row... we've been in the middle at "mabahong" water ng Manila bay for an hour & half... training for the upcoming Boracay race kailangan ng "patayan" na training if we relly want to bring home a trophy... this will be my first time to participate on a major race kaya i have to sacrifice so many things...
after the training syempre we had our shower... (haaayyy, sarap ng feeling ng mawala ang amoy ng water ng Manila Bay... though mahirap maligo sa shower room... carry na din) di pa ako umuwi after kasi wala naman ako gagawin sa bahay so i stayed there for some "kwentuhan" wid my teammates. we then ate at the "turo-turo" near Harrison Plaza and since it's Sat and most of us walang pasok, nagkaayaan kami manood ng sine... we stayed at my house for a while and continued our "kwentuhan" there and waited for the time to past 'coz we decided to watch a movie by 1pm.
we leave the house by 12:30 coz we're going to meet one of our teammate na kasama namin manood ng movie... we watched at GBelt3 since the movie (Sahara) was going to start by 1:20. it was a nice movie and i really enjoyed der company though it was myfirst time to watch a movie with my teammates (coz we're not that really close...hehehe) the movie ended by 3pm and uwian na...
 |
when i got home my phone rangs and it was my cousin(my roommate also who went home every weekend) who's calling me so i decided to answer her call... i know she turned on the loudspeaker kasi naririnig ko sila lahat sa bahay asking me bakit di ako umuwi... then my cousin Kyla(also my inaanak... the one with me in the picture) asking me
"Ninang, bakit di ka umuwi?, kelan ka ulit uuwi d2?"
there was a pause on my part since i don't know what to tell her... then i just told her that i was busy doing something here... she then told me
"magpapalit na ako ng Ninang kasi ayaw mo na naman umuwi d2 eh... di na tayo nakakapunta ng Robinson" (everytime kasi umuuwi isinasama ko sya para mamasyal dun kaya miss na nya ang Robinson... hehehe)
ouch (parang kinurot ang puso ko dun ah)... hearing that from a 5years old (though i know that she really not meant that) it makes me think that time... it's not that i don't miss them... they don't know how much i missed them... but i have my own reason kung bakit hindi ako umuuwi ng province kahit may oras ako...
maybe it's funny if i say that i envy them... i envy my little cousins especially when i saw them playing and having a good time na para bang ang "simple" lang ng buhay for them... they can play, eat, sleep anytime they want without thinking what will happen for tomorrow...
if only i could tell them how much i missed eveybody... maybe they'll understand me somehow... |
yeah, maybe it's true that:
i can be a child if i wanted to but i am not a child anymore...
i can still play under the sun kahit di na ako papagalitan but i'd rather not kasi wala naman na makikipaglaro sakin kasi most of them ayaw umitim... :-)
i can still try some stuffs that they enjoyed doing pero no one will come with me...
but one thing i can't do now is to let them know that "somebody's" hurting me... i don't even want them to see my cry... i don't want them to know that at my age now, i'm still letting somebody to make me cry...
why???
'coz they think that i am tough... that i can handle everything that comes to my life now...
all i know is that i don't want them to worry about me anymore...
i am not a child anymore and i missed being one...
but right now, i should act like not a child anymore...
i'm still struggling... i'm still looking for the answers to all the questions that lingers in my mind...
i know that someday i can tell myself:
i'm satisfied and i'm really happy with what am i doing... (not pretending to be...)
okei... it's already 11:20PM, i have to go home and sleep na 'coz i have to wake up early again for another day of tiring... hope to be nice but no more thinking instead of enjoying last day of weekend...
goodnight to me... sweetdreams and i wish kahit sa dreams ko lang i can be a child again... :-)
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 12:11 am
soul searcher here...
.:: a tiring wikend... thinking ::.
Friday, April 08, 2005
pride
...the reason why people do lot of things and why people lie...
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 12:16 pm
soul searcher here...
:-(
Thursday, April 07, 2005
kung ako lang ang nasunod at may malay lang ako that night i collapsed, i would tell my cousin not to rush me to the hospital and just let me stay at home and have my rest there... but since wala nga ako malay, wala din ako nagawa... haaaaaaaayyyyy
that monday night when im on my way home from the office... sobrang sakit ng ulo ko na feeling ko di na ako makakauwi... but thank GOD kasi HE never let anything happen to me when i'm on my way... so i arrive home safe that night. akala ko gutom lang ako kaya sumasakit ang ulo ko... i saw a cake in the ref and ate it... take a nap and i told my cousin's bf to wake me up pag FULL HOUSE na... it was my cousin who woke me up kasi we were going to have our dinner na... but since i am not feeling well nga and my head terribly aches, di rin ako nakakain ng dinner... i was watching FULL HOUSE when i felt that i'm gonna throw up so i went to the CR and that was the last thing i remember...
i was already in the E.R. of Makati Med ng magkamalay ako... i saw my cousin talking to the doctor and when they saw that i was already awake... she then started asking me some questions... i really don't know what happened but i can still feel that my whole head and the upper back of my body is aching... the doctor then told me that they're going to give me pain reliever but through injection...
waaaaaahhhhhhhh... para akong bata na takot na takot 'coz i don't even remember when was the last time na-injection ako. ayoko sana pumayag but still i have no choice kasi hindi ko na din naman kaya yung pain na nararamdaman ko that night...(buti na lang cute yung nurse na nag-injection sakin... hehehe) after taking that pain reliever naramdaman ko na unti-unti akong nahilo and i guess nakatulog na ako...
it was already Tuesday morning ng magising ako but i can still feel my head aching pero hindi na kasing sakit ng previous night... the doctor said that it was "tension headache with fever" and i was advised to rest for 3days... and when i saw my bill for that 1 night of staying there... my gosh... feeling ko lalong sumakit ang ulo ko... (just kidding) if only i have a choice i would rather stayed home na lang that night...
actually i should be resting until today but i decided to go back to work this morning or else i've got tons of emails to read and work loads to finish...
i know consequence ito ng pagiging matigas ng ulo ko...
vitamins ko di ko iniinom...
always puyat
bawal ang softdrinks pero masarap ang "COKE" lalo na pag malamig
kasi kung ano ang bawal yun ang masarap gawin... hehehe
my upper back is still aching and i guess i really need to have another check-up for this but i don't know when i can have it... the doctor said that i should have enough sleep from now on at iwasan muna ang magpuyat which i don't think i can...
why???
"pasaway kasi ako..."
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 04:12 pm
soul searcher here...
.:: the consequence ::.
Monday, April 04, 2005
 
Dear Jhen,
Here is your horoscope
for Monday, April 4:
One great thing about being single: No relationship 'issues.' If something from the past comes up, give it a little thought, then put it in its place -- the past.
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 05:14 pm
soul searcher here...
!?!
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
.:: the beauty of Nature-pics from our Caramoan Trip ::.
more pictures from our Caramoan trip... << click here >>
all pictures were taken by urs truly...
and one more thing...
would you believe me if i told you that the shadow from the next two pictures are both mine...
hehehe... and i am not kidding...
how did it happen... we'll i don't know either... i guess it's the magic of the lens...
 
-- my sexy shadow -- -- my "dabiana" shadow --
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 07:28 pm
soul searcher here...
.:: the beauty of Nature-pics from our Caramoan Trip ::.
training day after holy week... (actually naka-vacation mode pa rin ako eh... kaya yung utak ko di pa gumagana para mag-isip ng pwede ko maisulat... but i have to think of something kahit papano para naman ma-update ang blogg ko... hehehe)
at syempre gising naman ako ng maaga... (i have to...) i set my alarm clock at 5:00am but i think bumangon ako mga 5:15am na... (pasaway talaga noh... hehehe) naisip ko kasi late na naman yung iba since kakatapos lang ng bakasyon pero...
whoaaaahh...
nagulat ako... pagdating ko sa may Parking Lot at around 5:45am, they're already having their warm-up...
nakakagulat talaga...
and syempre ano gagawin ko eh di mega-smile na lang ako sa kanila while preparing myself to join them... halos di ko kilala ang mga nag-attend ng training kasi karamihan bago lang sa team... mas madami ang women's crew pero when we are about to go to the docking area... nagdatingan ang mga guys kaya separate boat na rin ang nangyari...
haaaayyyyy... kakapagod... as in sobrang kakapagod...
sino ba naman ang di mapapagod sa "program" na ginawa namin...
1st set - 15mins na walang pahinga... row lang ng row...
den 2mins na rest lang ata or wala pa...
2nd set - another 15mins na walang pahinga... row lang ng row... pero may rule... dapat walang magtataas ng sagwan or else another set na naman... grabe talaga...
pero syempre di maiiwasan yun eh... may mga nagtaas pa din ng sagwan(but i'm not one of them... hehehe... o di ba proud ako...)
kasi nakakapagod talaga... so sa halip na 15mins lang naging 20mins na walang rest ang nangyari sa 2nd set namin...
tapos rest ulit ng kaunting minuto... (take note minuto lang hindi oras...)
actually medyo matagal naman ang kaunting minuto na yan kasi since may new recruit sa boat... kailangan gawin ang "tradition"... yehey... may mag-di-dip sa mabaho at maduming tubig ng Manila Bay... hehehe
but hey... we don't know what went wrong (nag-trip na naman si *****) kaya lahat tuloy kami nag-dip... put*** talaga... wala ka naman magagawa kundi ang sundin kasi bawal umangal eh... haaaaayyyyy...
on our way back to the docking area... another set pa ulit...
by group naman na 100count and hindi lang once... twice namin ginawa...
pamatay talaga...
tapos sinundan ng "starts" is what they call it... (usually ginagawa pag may race)
3-30-20...
3-long and hard
30-digs
20-long all the way...
ginawa namin yun till we reach the docking area...
haaaaayyyyyyyy... salamat... natapos na naman ang isang araw na training...(sa Friday ulit) pero in fairness masarap naman kasi nabatak na naman mga muscles ko... hehehe
after that i had my shower kasi diretso na ako to office...
syempre what's new with the team... di mawawala ang kantyawan...
deadma na lang ako... kasi pag pinatulan ko pa sila lalo lang sila mang-iinis at mang-aasar... (knowing them...haaayyyyy)
well...
wala lang...
gusto ko lang i-kwento how did i start my day...
and yun na nga...
though masarap matulog... kailangan gumising ng maaga...
sabi nga... if you love what u're doing kailangan ng konting sacrifice...
and i can say... kahit papano "love" ko na din ang rowing...
iba kasi feeling ko pag nakasakay na ako sa boat eh...
kung anuman yung feeling na yun...
hmmmmmm... sakin na lang yun...
hehehe...
...actually wala ako maisip na title ng entry na ito kaya the date today na lang nilagay ko... yung pictures ko from our Caramoan trip... inaayos ko pa kasi... pero later post ko din dito... but some of my personal pics... makikita nyo na dun sa moving pics sa profiles ko...
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 02:19 pm
soul searcher here...
03.30.05
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