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Wednesday, May 18, 2005
"Jhen, pano kung ligawan kita?"
tanong sa akin last night (actually it's already past 12am) habang tinatahak namin ang isang street sa may Tayuman... pauwi na kami galing sa bahay ng isang friend namin who got married yesterday. wala na ako balak pumunta since late na ako nakaalis ng office tapos umuulan pa at baha sa may Buendia... i decided na di na lang punta dun so i texted them na malabo na nga ako makapunta since umuulan pa din...
pero ang mga mokong ni-challenge ako...
"isang sakay na lang yan Jhen, mountaineer ka... mag-taxi ka na lang papunta dito...", a text message i receive habang nagpapalit ako ng damit pagdating ko ng dorm... matutulog sana muna ako since hindi pa luto ang dinner si ako naman na-challenge kaya ayun... mabilis nagpalit ng damit and in 15mins or less andun na ako sa Buendia station ng LRT at bumibili ng tiket going to Tayuman.
pagdating ko ng Jollibee-Tayuman, txt ko sila na sunduin na nila ako dun since hindi ko kabisado pagpunta sa bahay. at nagulat ako ng yung 2 friend ko pang girl ang sumundo sakin... mga pasaway talaga ng mga mokong... pagdating ko ayun busy sa pag-iinom... what's new eh buhay na nila ang alak... hehehe...
kwentuhan to the maxx... kanya-kanyang bangka sa kwentuhan kahit pauli-ulit lang naman ang topic sa tuwing nag-iinuman...
akala ko ubusin lang nila yung red horse tapos uuwi na kami.. eh after ng redhorse nagulat na lang ako ng may nakalabas pang Emperador (Long Neck) sa table... at ayun uubusin pa daw nila yun... may magagawa pa ba kami... sa madaling salita stay pa din kami ng matagal dun at napainom pa ako ng hindi oras kasi ayaw nila pumayag na hindi ako shot kahit isa lang... eh di pagbigyan ng wala ng debate...
at excatly 1130(sa relo ko) ng makita ko na wala na laman ang bote ng empe... so i guess uwian na ito... feeling ko nga gusto na talaga magpahinga ng parents ng friend ko kasi masyado kami magugulo... hehehe
ang tagal ng paalaman... parang ayaw pa nila umuwi kaya nagpauna na kami nagpaalam at bumaba ng bahay... siguro mga 15mins pa din kami naghintay sa baba...
okei balik na tayo dito... "Jhen, pano kung ligawan kita?"
tanong sakin habang naglalakad kami... lam ko may inom sya pero hindi lang yun ang unang beses nya ako tinanong ng ganun...
minsan hindi ko alam kung seryoso sya or nagbibiro lang...minsan hindi ko alam kung nagti-trip lang ba sya or gusto lang nya makita ang reaction ko once tanungin nya ako about sa bagay na yun...
tulad ng palagi kong ginagawa "SMILE" lang ang sagot ko... sabay tanong ng "OK K LANG?"
ewan ko kung bakit pero sa loob ng isang taon na nakilala ko sya... hindi naman sya yung tipo ng lalaki na mahirap mahalin... lagi ko nga sinasabi sa kanya na "amazed" ako sa kanya kasi sa lahat ng pinagdaanan nya... nakikita ko na matatag pa din sya!
honestly, kung ia-asses ko ang nararamdaman ko alam ko na kahit papano may "space" sya sa buhay ko... may mga times na minsan gusto ko seryoso kami mag-usap kasi pag seryoso kami nag-uusap may sense lahat... naiinis ako pag inaasar nya ako though alam ko naman na gusto lang nya makuha ang attention ko...
dati constant companion ko sya nung mga panahong hindi pa ako totaly nakaka-recover sa lahat ng pinagdaanan ko... somehow alam nya ang lahat ng sakit na naramdaman ko...
maraming beses na nya ako tinanong kung bakit ko daw kailangan pahirapan ang sarili ko... hindi lang isa or dalawang beses nya ako sinabihan na "bato" daw ako at "manhid"...
hindi na bago sakin ang marinig ang salitang bato at "manhid" dahil cguro nga ganun na ako ngayon... kailangan ko ng maging "bato" para mas maging matatag na ako sa lahat ng pagdadaanan ko pa... at hindi din naman siguro masama ang maging "manhid" ako kung para naman sa sarili ko ang ginagawa ko...
pero minsan hindi ko din maiwasan tanungin ang sarili ko kung hanggang kelan ako magiging "bato" at "manhid"... hanggang kelan ko isasantabi ang tunay na nararamdaman ko dahil lang sa isang nakaraan... hanggang kelan ko itatago at ipipilit sa sarili ko na kaya ko talaga ang mag-isa at hindi ko na kailangang pasukin ulit ang "masalimuot na mundo ng pag-ibig" kung sa araw-araw ng buhay ko alam ko na "may minamahal" ako pero ayoko na maramdaman nya ang pagmamahal ko...
"hindi dahil takot ako na hindi nya suklian ang pagmamahal ko kundi dahil alam ko na pag muli akong nagmahal kaya ko pa ding ibigay ang lahat-lahat at baka wala na naman matira para sa sarili ko..."
mahirap na kasi baka sa ikalawang pagkakataon na sumugal ako wala na talaga matira para sa sarili ko... kawawa naman si "ako"...
kung darating man ang pagkakataon na handa na akong isugal muli ang lahat-lahat siguro naman "karapat-dapat" na talaga "sya"...
"sya" na handa akong mag-invest ng full time at emotions ko...
"sya" na handang mapikon pero tatanggapin ako at ang kakulitan ko...
"sya" na iiyak dahil sa kakatawa sa lahat ng jokes ko...
at higit sa lahat...
"sya" na deserving ng lahat-lahat ng kaya ko ibigay kahit hindi nya matumbasan basta alam ko na na-aapreciate nya...
 SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 11:18 am
soul searcher here...
<< UnTiTLeD >>
Monday, May 16, 2005
"What man is a man who doesn't make the world better..."
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 12:14 pm
soul searcher here...
!?!
STOP COMPARING
by: Bo Sanchez
We live in a pathologically dissatisfied world. And I'm going to tell you why. Because we love to compare. Go around the world and discover that people aren't happy with their bodies.
Filipinos want to be fair-complexioned like Westerners, and so buy bleaching stuff. Westerners want to own bronzed bodies like ours, and so purchase tanning lotions.
Those with moles have them removed, while those who don't strategically implant beauty spots.
Some people want to shed a few pounds to look like Ally McBeal, while others want to gain some baby fat to look like Drew Barrymore.
When are we ever going to stop and simply be happy with how we look? We live in a sick world. I tell you. And that sickness is comparisonitis.
Take a look at wealth. When we drive our old Toyota, it really suits us fine. We feel blessed in fact when the rain pours outside and we feel snug and cozy on its faded upholstered seats.
But the moment we see our own officemate (or neighbor, or buddy, or cousin, or brother) drive his sleek sky-blue, four-door, four-wheel-drive Rav4, we automatically feel like third class children of God. Next time we drive our bumpy, noisy, rusted, dilapidated Toyota (notice how all the defects come out all of a sudden?), we feel deprived, dispossessed, pariah, debased, and only a little higher than the insects of the earth.
Listen carefully. Bill Gates' total assets are worth $60 billion. That's more than the GNP of some small countries. Tiger Woods earns $80 million simply by smiling on TV in a Nike shirt. And the stars of the sitcom Friends are paid $50,000 per episode! My point? No matter how hard you work, there'll still be some people who will be richer than you are.
And there'll be some people who will be more beautiful, have more sex appeal, have more boyfriends/girlfriends, and have more problems.
Try it for once. Stop looking around. Don't compare!
Don't compare her nose with your nose.
Don't compare his wife with your wife.
Don't compare his salary with your salary.
Don't compare her breast size with your breast size.
Don't compare her kid's report card with your kid's report card.
Don't compare his prayer group with your prayer group.
Don't compare her/his cellulite deposits with your cellulite deposits.
Stop comparing and start living and you'll be happier with your life.
This is crucial: The most difficult thing in the world is to be who you are not. Pretending and trying to be someone else is the official pastime of the human race. (I don't think dogs and
cats and cows and horses have this problem).
And the easiest thing in the world is to be yourself. Be happy. Live!
There must be a reason why God made you tall or short or fat or thin or bumpy all over.
Love who you are!
P.S.
...this one was sent to me just this morning and i find it so nice that's why i wanted to share it to all of you guys out there...
Bo Sanchez, a lay minister who writes for the KERYGMA, a Catholic inspirational magazine is one my favorite writer. All his books really made me feel closer to GOD...
Last 2 weeks ago, i attended the Kerygma Feast and for almost 2 1/2 hours mass and listening to the speaker, there are so much that i've learned and that event draw me closer to HIM. It's not my first time to attend a Keryma feast but it's always different and i will look forward for the next month's FEAST...
KERYGMA FEAST
Every 1st Sunday of the Month
8am to 10 am * 10am to 12 pm * 3 to 5pm
Bulwagang Heneral Arturo Enrile, Camp Aguinaldo, Edsa, QC
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 11:20 am
soul searcher here...
.:: Comparisonitis ::.
Friday, May 13, 2005
"boys nyt out kami, sama ka? d2 kami glorietta" - Sender's Name: 05-12-05 5:50PM
a text message i receive yesterday from one of my boy-friend... well, since sanay na ako gumimik kasama sila kahit "only rose among the thorns ako..." i texted him na hintayin nila ako kasi paalis pa lang ako ng office that time at honestly, minsan nga mas feel ko pa talaga sila kasama kahit puro pang-aasar ang inaabot ko sa kanila... since balak ko din naman talaga manood ng moview last night kaya lang yung girl-friend ko na supposed to be kasama ko eh hindi nagparamdam kung matutuloy kami, i decided to go with them na lang... actually hindi ko alam kung ano plans nila... but then it turned out that we're going to watch a movie and yun nga pinanood namin (me & my 3 guy friends)ang "XXX".
at exactly 9PM, lumabas kami ng cinema... at aba ang mga mokong uuwi na daw kagad... puro tukso tuloy inabot nila sakin... syempre san ka ba naman nakakita ng boys night out na 9PM eh uwian na kagad... so i told them na ayoko pa umuwi and since sila ang nagplano ng gimik na yun kailangan di pa kami umuwi lahat...
palabas ng Parking Lot, nagtatalo-talo kami kung san kami pupunta... walang idea lahat kung ano ang gusto gawin basta hindi pa kami dapat umuwi... hehehe... syempre, ako si makulit na "jhen" pa din ang nasunod... suggest ng places pero di nila trip... debate dito debate doon... what's new? eh ganun naman kami pag magkakasama... kaya lang since nag-iisa ako at tatlo sila "talo" pa din ako...
napadpad kami ng Malate, paikot-ikot at naghahanap ng pwede tambayan... may kanya-kanyang lugar na gusto puntahan... hanggang sa nag-decide kami na punta na lang sa isang bar (i don't know the name pero sa taas ng "the hobbit bar" yun)... one round of beer pero di ako masyado uminom... tamang kulit lang ako habang naglalaro sila ng billiards...
they kept on asking me kung "ok lang daw ako" eh okei naman ako... baka daw kasi naiinip ako eh pwede naman daw kami lumipat ng place... as if naman concern sila... hehehe (pero concern naman talaga sila sakin)... ang aking isang kaibigan... tahimik... tamang badtrip kasi nag-aasaran kami sa sasakyan eh napikon ata sa mga hirit ko... ayun di nagsasalita at tamang sleep mode habang kami pinag-uusapan kung "badtrip" nga sya... loko naman itong isa... kitang napikon na nga... lalo pang inaasar... haaaayyyy, natatawa na lang ako sa kanila...
maya ng konti, itong isang friend ko may kausap sa celphone nya... at aba parang may ka-debate na naman... di pa nakuntento... umalis ng table at pumunta ng CR... hehehe... kilala ko na sino kausap nya at pagbalik... ayun nakasimangot na... tamang sentimyento ang loko kesyo naiinis daw sya kasi wala naman kwenta ang pinag-uusapan nila... haaayyyyy... mga lalaki talaga...
at eto na, nagsimula na ang sentimyento nilang tatlo... hehehe
at habang nakikinig ako sa kanila, natatawa na lang ako kasi kahit mag-react naman ako or magbigay ng opinyon alam ko naman na di nila ako pakikinggan lalo na mag-isang babae lang ako dun... siguro tama na yun pakinggan ko sila habang nagse-sentimyento sila...
super negative na naman po ang mga boy-friends ko... feeling nila palagi silang kawawa sa mga babae... haaaaayyyyy...
well, hindi na bago sakin ang marinig ang opinion ng mga lalaki... mas mgusto ko nga yun kasi at least nalalaman ko kung ano ang tumtakbo sa mga isip nila... though i am not talking in general pero sa totoo lang habang kasama ko sila nasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko na parang ayoko na talaga pasukin ulit ang mundo ng "pag-ibig"...
sobrang kumplikado lalo na kung ang makakatapat ko eh katulad ng mga boy-friends ko... hehehe
pero in a positive side, masaya ako kasi alam ko na kahit ganun sila may respeto sila sa akin... siguro kasi alam ko na kanila hindi ako "katalo"...
masarap ang feeling ng marami kang boy-friends kasi alam mo na walang pwedeng mang-gago sayo basta-basta...
hindi lang once or twice ako sumama ng boys night out pero bawat gimik na kasama ko ang mga boy-friends ko... ibang feeling ang nararamdaman ko... umuwi man ako ng amoy yosi at alak, alam ko na makakauwi ako ng safe at di nila ako iiwan sa ere...
minsan nga nasasabi ko na lang na mas maswerte pa ako sa mga girlfriend nila... kasi kasama ko sila sa mga oras na dapat andun sila sa girlfriend nila at sa mga lugar na hindi alam ng mga girlfriend nila kung asan sila...
kaya masarap pala talaga ang buhay "single"...
hindi lang girls night out kundi pati boys night out pwede ako sumama...
sa mga boy-friends ko... salamat kasi andyan kayo...
take note... 230am na ako nakauwi kaya pagdating ko... bagsak na ako at sarap ng tulog ko...
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 12:29 pm
soul searcher here...
...boys night out...
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. In a specific point of the journey, they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one, who got slapped, was hurt, but without anything to say, he wrote in the sand:
"TODAY, MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE".
They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who got slapped and hurt started drowning, and the other friend saved him. When he recovered from the fright, he wrote on a stone:
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE".
The friend who saved and slapped his best friend, asked him, "Why, after I hurt you, you wrote in the sand, and now you write on a stone?
The other friend, smiling, replied: "When a friend hurts us, we should write it down in the sand, where the winds of forgiveness get in charge of erasing it away, and when something great happens, we should engrave it in the stone of the memory of the heart, where no wind can erase it"
1. Learn to write in the sand, when u have difference and hurted feelings with ur friend.
2. Learn to write in stone when ur friend had something done really good to you.
it's been a week since my last post and while i was browsing my mails i found this one...
for "YOU", just wanted you to know that everything you did that somehow hurted my feeling are all written in the sand... but all things that you done to me that made me feel special and loved are written in stone...
if there is one thing i really wanted to do right now... it's talking to "someone" whom i really misses so much... but i guess evrything will fall into it's proper place... it may not be right now but i believe that our path will cross again and everything will be alright...
for now, i just want you to TAKE GOOD CARE and ALWAYS BE HAPPY...
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 02:53 pm
soul searcher here...
...write it down...
Friday, April 29, 2005
... a message of MOTIVATION ...
Every day should be a good day and we should live it like it's our last.
Some people live a life of anger, frustration, pain, jealousy, and/or dishonesty, but all of these things will come to pass when our time here is over. Just take a moment to think. we will not be on this earth forever. One day, we will not have to worry about going to work or how we will make all the payments. We will not have to worry where our next meal will come from, or how we can buy that million dollar worth of house.
At anytime, God could take us off of this earth, so we should appreciate today and not worry about tomorrow, for nobody knows what tomorrow will bring.(Proverbs 27:1)
When we wake up each morning, thank the Lord for waking up.
When lying down to sleep, thank the Lord for another day.
If we have job, thank the Lord for the employment and asks taht He may bless us in everything we do. Ask him to give us the knowledge and the wisdom to do our job. If any case that we don't have any job, thanks Him anyway and ask Him to direct us to the job that is right for us.
When eating breakfast, lunch or dinner, say a prayer and thank the Lord for providing food and nourishment for our body.
If we're healthy, thank the Lord for the health and strength in our body. If not, thank Him anyway for life, and ask him to heal our body.
So the next time that we get mad, think twice.
The next time we complain about something at our job, think twice.
The next time we say we wish we had steak instead of chicken, think twice.
Be thankful for what we have, and the life that God has given us.
Pray and ask the Lord for guidance. Be sincere, as GOD knows whether or not we mean it from our heart, and not so we can get a pat on the back. Put forth the extra effort in everything that we do. Go after what we want in life, and do whatever it takes to achieve our goals.
No matter how perfect we think we are, there is always a room for improvement and an opportunity for us to do better.
If depressed, don't cry... just hold our head up and the Lord will help us through (...these happen to me many many times!). Pray and ask the Lord to deliver us from our state of depression. Whatever is that we are depressed about, God will take the pain from our heart. It may not be at that moment, or the next hour, or maybe not even the next day... but He will do it... we just have to believe in Him.
GOD may not show up when we want him to, but HE's ALWAYS right on time.
GOD will not give us more than we can bear.
Sometimes he will present us with issues that will test our faith, but we have to be strong enough to believe that God will do exactly what HE says.
The message for today is to...
Praise the Lord...
Have faith in the Lord...
Give thanks to the Lord...
and live every day like it is your last...
Theoretically speaking, if the Lord never does anything else for us, other than wake up each day, put food in our mouths and clothes on our back, we should thank Him anyway. He died so that we could have LIFE of this earth.
Worth sharing, isn't it?
GOD Bless us ALL!!!
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 04:57 pm
soul searcher here...
... a message of MOTIVATION ...
Thursday, April 28, 2005
.:: the interview with GOD ::.
I dreamed I had an interview with God.
“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.
“If you have the time” I said.
God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”
“What surprises you most about humankind?”
God answered...
“That they get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.”
“That they lose their health to make money...
and then lose their money to restore their health.”
“That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”
"That they live as if they will never die, and die as though they had never lived.”
God’s hand took mine and we were silent for a while.
And then I asked...
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”
“To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved.”
“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.”
“To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.”
“To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them.”
“To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.”
“To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.”
“To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.”
“To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”
"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.
"Is there anything else you would like your children to know?"
God smiled and said,
“Just know that I am here... always.”
-author unknown
click here to view the presentation...
...a simple presentation that GOD love us and cared for us so much...
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 02:14 pm
soul searcher here...
.:: the interview with GOD ::.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
.:: Lord, your the Best!!! ::.
ang galing talaga ni Lord...
wala ako masabi...
ang bait nya sakin kahit na "pasaway" ako...
minsan di ko na alam kung deserve ko pa yung lahat ng binibigay nya sakin...
i know that "THANK YOU" is not enough dahil hindi lang isa, dalawa or tatlo beses ko napatunayan na "special" ako sa kanya (though we're all special to HIM)...
i may not be good in everything and there are so many times that i disappointed HIM but still HE really never give up on me...
kaya eto lang masasabi ko...
"LORD, your the BEST!!!"
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 03:34 pm
soul searcher here...
.:: Lord, your the Best!!! ::.
Monday, April 25, 2005
just finished watching Smallville S4E17 and and E18... E17, wherein Lex Luthor split into two personality...
his good and evil side...
there is this conversation of Chloe and Clark that somehow strucks me...
Chloe: ...people have a lot of different sides and sometimes they keep those sides hidden even from the ones that they loved.
Clark: sometimes you have to even if that does not what you want.
Chloe: yeah, but sooner or later you have to trust someone what was in your heart otherwise you'll gonna end up going thru life alone...
...and i agree that we do have lots of different sides and that we're afraid that others may knew about it.
...it's not that we don't trust them especially the one's we love but sometimes we have to let it hidden 'coz we don't know how will they react or how are they going to accept once they knew about it.
...SAD but it's TRUE...
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 07:24 pm
soul searcher here...
...diFFerenT sidEs...
One day
LOVE and FRIEND
met on the road of LIFE...
LOVE asked,
"What's your use when I already exist?"
FRIEND smiled and said,
"I am here to put a SMILE when you put TEARS"
SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 05:10 pm
soul searcher here...
= LOVE & FRIEND II =
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