...rainy season again and this one is just right to feel the warmth and love of GOD for all of us...

A cold March wind danced around the dead of night in Dallas as the doctor walked into the small hospital room of Diana Blessing. Still groggy from surgery, her husband David held her hand as they braced themselves for the latest news. That afternoon of March 10, 1991, complications had forced Diana, only 24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an emergency cesarean to deliver the couple’s new daughter, Danae Lu Blessing.

At 12 inches long and weighing only one pound and nine ounces, they already knew she was perilously premature. Still, the doctor’s soft words dropped like bombs.
"I don’t think she’s going to make it,"‘ he said, as kindly as he could. "There’s only a 10-percent chance she will live through the night, and even then, if by some slim chance she does make it, her future could be a very cruel one."
Numb with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the doctor described the devastating problems Danae would likely face if she survived.
She would never walk, she would never talk, she would probably be blind, and she would certainly be prone to other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to complete mental retardation, and on and on.

"No! No!" was all Diana could say. She and David, with their
5-year-old son Dustin, had long dreamed of the day they would have a daughter to become a family of four. Now, within a matter of hours, that dream was slipping away.

Through the dark hours of morning as Danae held onto life by the thinnest thread, Diana slipped in and out of sleep, growing more and more determined that their tiny daughter would live and live to be a healthy, happy young girl.
But David, fully awake and listening to additional dire details of their daughter’s chances of ever leaving the hospital alive, much less healthy, knew he must confront his wife with the inevitable.
David walked in and said that we needed to talk about making funeral arrangements.

Diana remembers, "I felt so bad for him because he was doing everything trying to include me in what was going on, but I just wouldn’t listen, I couldn’t listen. I said, ‘No, I don’t want to listen to what the doctors say; Danae is not going to die! One day she will be just fine, and she will be coming home with us!’"
As if willed to live by Diana’s determination, Danae clung to life hour after hour, with the help of every medical machine and marvel her miniature body could endure. But as those first days passed, a new agony set in for David and Diana. Because Danae’s underdeveloped nervous system was essentially ‘raw,’ the lightest kiss or caress only intensified her discomfort, so they couldn’t even cradle their tiny baby girl against their chests to offer the strength of their love. All they could do, as Danae struggled alone beneath the ultraviolet light in the tangle of tubes and wires, was to pray that God would stay close to their precious little girl.
There was never a moment when Danae suddenly grew stronger. But as the weeks went by, she did slowly gain an ounce of weight here and an ounce of strength there. At last, when Danae turned two months old, her parents were able to hold her in their arms for the very first time.
And two months later, though doctors continued to gently, but grimly warn that her chances of surviving, much less living any kind of normal life, were next to zero.
Danae went home from the hospital, just as her mother had predicted.
Today, five years later, Danae is a petite but feisty young girl with glittering gray eyes and an unquenchable zest for life. She shows no signs, whatsoever, of any mental or physical impairment. Simply, she is everything a little girl can be and more, but that happy ending is far from the end of her story.
One blistering afternoon in the summer of 1996 near her home in Irving, Texas, Danae was sitting in her mother’s lap in the bleachers of a local ballpark where her brother Dustin’s baseball team was practicing.
As always, Danae was chattering nonstop with her mother and several other adults sitting nearby when she suddenly fell silent.

Tears blurred Diana’s eyes as Danae then happily hopped down to play with the other children Before the rains came, her daughter’s words confirmed what Diana and all the members of the extended Blessing family had known, at least in their hearts, all along. During those long days and nights of her first two months of her life, when her nerves were too sensitive for them to touch her, God was holding Danae on His chest and it is His loving scent that she remembers so well.

No wonder everyone loves the smell of rain!

in LIFE we seldom find a TRUE PERSON...
and if you ever find one

DREAM of ME

Let me sleep
For when I sleep
I dream that you are here
You’re mine
And all my fears are left behind
I float on air
The nightingale sings gentle lullabys
So let me close my eyes

And sleep
Per chance to dream
So I can see the face I long to touch
To kiss
But only dreams can bring me this
So let the moon
Shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He’ll dream of me

I’ll hide beneath the clouds
And whisper to the evening stars
They tell me love is just a dream away
Dream away (echo 3x)
I’ll dream away

So let the moon
Shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He’ll dream of me

Oooohhh
Dream of me...

<< i've heard this song one night in one of my favorite radio station and from then on it became my lullaby song... >>

Prayer - Meditation
(Based on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

The Scriptures say “Love is patient.”
God, how can I be patient when I experience injustice?
God, teach me to patient without being silent or inactive.

The Scriptures say “Love is kind.”
God, how can I be kind as I confront what is evil?”
God, teach me to love my enemy.

The Scriptures say “Love is not jealous.”
God, how can I not be jealous
of those who have so much wealth or power or control?
God, teach me to keep my values straight.

The Scriptures say “Love is not pompous.”
God, how can I not be pompous when I am speaking truth
to those who seem so wrong?
God, teach me to know how to both speak and listen.

The Scriptures say “Love is not inflated.”
God, how can I not be inflated with righteousness in the cause of justice?
God, teach me to know my limits, that I make mistakes
and that I don’t always see clearly.

The Scriptures say “Love is not rude.”
God, how can I be gracious but also committed to what is right?
God, teach me to respect all my sisters and brothers.

The Scriptures say “Love does not seek its own interests.”
God, how can I move beyond my own limits and desires and needs?
God, teach me to understand the needs and perspectives of others, especially the poor.

The Scriptures say “Love is not quick-tempered.”
God, how can I learn from my anger?
God, teach me to learn from my strongest emotions.

The Scriptures say “Love does not brood over injury.”
God, how can I not get discouraged by all the hurts and injuries in our world?
God, teach me to move forward and get into action for what is right.

The Scriptures say “Love does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.”
God, how can I stop thinking of what helps my side to win
and the other side to lose?
God, teach me to practice a love that wants the truth to win for all people.

The Scriptures say “Love bears all things.”
God, how can I bear the stress of trying so hard to do what is right?
God, teach me to let go and to trust in your wisdom.

The Scriptures say “Love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
God, how can I possibly love?
God, teach me that I don’t love alone,
But rather in community with you and with all my sisters and brothers.

The Scriptures say “love never fails.”
God, how is it that I sometimes feel failure? How can I believe?
God, teach me to love with a heart as big as the world
And to receive love and help with a big a heart.
Amen.

   
010725 (July 25, 2001)

Im sure its not Hapiness

I really dont know where to begin. Life is a bit confusing right now! The first time i told u those 3 words, was the time i really felt them. 4 a long time u told me you wouldn't cry for a guy. and when i saw that happen, i felt sad 4 i know there was something really wrong. The time i was able to introduce you to my parents though not as my girl, i was in a state of nirvana. For this time i know i have moved another step and someday move on further, but today i lost u! Hurt & move i really don't know what to do. All i remember was my walking past your office hoping u would come down & tell me otherwise. When i saw the words "IT ALL ENDS HERE" that made me want to melt away. It was like a big door closed. I was hoping to read the words "I STILL LOVE YOU" but that dit not happen. Right now, im writing this stupid letter hoping to change your mind waiting 4 u to knock on the door & say those 3 words again. Yes I know its my fault, but i still don't know what **** told you. I never told u this but i was thinking **** told u something that formed that ? on your heart. If she don't tell you anything, good for her! Right now im sure about what im feeling. Im sure it's not happiness im feeling now that ive lost u!

--he gave that letter to me the very next day... we've talked... we were together when i read the letter. i can feel the sincerity that somehow change my mind. sinabi ko sa kanya na mula sa araw na yun walang sinuman ang pwedeng magsabi sakin kung ano ang dapat kong gawin. i guess my love for him is enough to go on with what we have that time... we watched movie and forget everything as if nothing happens... cguro ganun lang talaga, if you really love the person, hindi ganun kadali mag-let go... as long as there is love on your part... kahit masakit... kahit maraming kontra... kahit feeling mo talo ka...
if you love the person... holding on is not that hard...

   
February 23, 2004

I Really don't know how 2!

Lab, after what you have said yesterday on the phone, honestly i really don't know what to do... i didn't expected it. I know it's always my fault! Becoz of my stupidity... everything i dis akala ko tama pa rin and akala ko you find it sweet & not annoying pero hindi pala. Alam mo Lab, hindi ko alam pano eh... pano ako kung wala ka na... Hindi ko kaya ito Lab... Hindi ko kaya na wala na isang *** sa buhay ko... sa pag gising ko every morning and tanging asa isip ko eh kung pano ko pa mapaparamdam sayo kung gano kita kamahal, kung gano ka kahalaga sa akin. Something w/in me ang nagsasabi pa rin na lahat ng sinabi mo kahapon eh di totoo... na nasabi mo lang yun ' coz ure really mad at me. And i still believe that u still love me very much just like what u've always say to me. Alam ko mahal na mahal mo pa rin ako & i know you won't still give up... Alam ko kaya pa natin ito. HE gave u to me... HE let us enter into this relationship 'coz HE knows that we are right for each other. Remember, yung time na palagi tayo magkasama na nagsisimba, lumalapit at nagdarasal sa KANYA. But then now madalang na natin gawin yun or di na natin nagagawa. Alam ko pagsubok lang NYA sa ating dalawa ito. Alam ko gusto lang din NYA na mabalik yung before na dalawa tayong tumatawag sa KANYA. Lab, kaya natin tong dalawa. Alam ko at nararamdaman ko yun. HE just want us to be strong inspite of everything that comes along to our relationship. Lab, GOD is our foundation. HE let us found each other kasi gusto nya na magkasama tayong dalawa. Alam ko right now marami ka lang iniisip, medyo magulo ang isip mo pero alam ko na ikaw pa din yung *** na totoong nagmamahal sa akin. Yung *** na laging iniisip ang kapakanan ko at ang *** na na nag complete ng buhay ko. We can still start a new with this relationship but please not apart... coz i really don't know how 2... when we're apart. With HIM and with you ***, i know i can bcoz thru you i know HE's always there with me. As I've told you, it's bcoz of YOU kaya nakilala ko SYA at natuto ako tumawag sa KANYA... so please, i'm begging you, let's give this relationship that HE formed another chance... I know ayaw din NYA na magkahiwalay tayong dalawa ***. I know... "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"

Being HAPPY doesn’t mean everything is PERFECT... it means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfection of LIFE and live by FAITH one day at a TIME...

If You Forget Me
by Pablo Neruda

I want you to know one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.