wELcOme to my BloG site
Feel free to write ur comments and suGGestionS...


in three words i can sum up everything i've learned about life





*HUGS* TOTAL!
give jhenskie more *HUGS*



as what i've always said: "i'm UNIQUE and ONE of a KIND"...
i know there something in me... that inspite of whatever may happen in my day, i'm going to stay this way: trying and giving LIFE in the BEST WAY i know how...
keeping my spirits up and all things in perspective...
i know it's going to be OKAY...
i've made it thru difficult things before and i always land on my feet... i may not be dancing; may not be always sure about what to do next... but i always manage to figure things out... especially when i'm able to keep my SENSE of HUMOR and not lose my SMILE...
and if i'll just really think about it... i'll realize that i'm a very STRONG individual who knows what i wants and how to get it the best way i can...
someone who may not have all the answers but who is willing to HOPE, TRY and BELIEVE...
that i can see my way thru just about anything; it just all depends on how i look at it... and when people look at me, all they will see is someone who really is...
PRETTY AMAZING...
Whether i'm trying to endure or striving to endeavor, i'll just be the kind of person who can handle all kinds of WEATHER...



...SOMEONE whose ARMS will HOLD me when i'm WEAK
...SOMEONE whose EYES will SEE my UGLIEST
...SOMEOME whose HEART will LOVE me at my WORST
...coz when i find that SOMEONE, i know it's TRUE LOVE!

...SOMEONE who could DANCE with ME under the NIGHT SKY even without the MOON and the STARS... even without MUSIC playing... even if that SOMEONE can't dance well... but still dance with ME...



.:: Bcoz of Ur Love ::.
how can I see Your face
and receive Your loving grace
when I am here shamed in sin
hurting You deep within

yet everytime I run and flee
You take me home forgiving me
with the skies I feel Your touch
no other love can be this much

You are there as I hide
with Your arms open wide

for You alone have the greatest love
the world has ever known
a love that never ceases to embrace a weary heart
and give a brand new start
provides light where the sun has never shown
now I can understand
that I am here because of Your love

so I take Your gentle hand
only to sin again
and yet You turn then stubbornly
you take me home, forgiving me

how can love as great as this
even want to exist
oh God of all that's good and true
please believe I love You too

though I walk through desert's doors
I will fear nothing more

that I am here because...
you are there as I hide with Your arms open wide
though I walk through desert's doors
I will fear nothing more nothing more

as You take me by the hand
that I am here because of Your love




This is meeh...
My name is...
My kiss is...erotic
My hugs are...warm
My eyes...twinkle in the moonlight
My touch is...heart warming
My smell is...amazing
My smile is...encouraging
My love is...one of a kind
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.:: WhaT's On ToP ::.

.:: HeRes sOmE mOrE ::.

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Tuesday, September 06, 2005
.:: this is for HIM ::.

LORD, lam ko pong alam mo na yung reason ko kung bakit para sa IYO ito...
YOU really deserve this entry...
just like those times na tumatawag ako sayo pag hindi ko na kaya ang lahat...
For all those times na kailangan KITA, hindi mo ako binigo at iniwan...
Forgive me for all those times na nakikita MO na nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa... for those times na gusto ko na bumigay and those times na nakakalimutan ko IKAW kasi masaya ako...
and today YOU did it again... ibang klase talaga pag IKAW ang kumilos...

speechless na po ako... hindi ko alam kung panong way ko mapaparating sayo yung THANK YOU na gusto ko iparating... lam ko naman po na ginagawa ko pa lang ito, alam mo na kung ano ang gusto ko sabihin...
i just wanted to post this song by Gary V... lam ko kasi na bagay sakin ito eh...  :-)

----==============-----==============-----==============----

Take Me Out Of The Dark


Just what is it in me? sometimes I just don't know
what keeps me in your love, why you never let me go
And though you're in me now, I fall and hurt you still
My Lord please show me how to know just how you feel
You have forgiven me too many times it seems
I feel I'm not what you might call a worthy Christian after all
And though I love you so temptations finds it's way to me

Teach me to trust in You with all of my heart
to lean not on my own understanding
coz' I just forget, You won't give me what i can't bear
Take me out of the dark My Lord I don't want to be there,ooh,hah

You never left my side You gave Your hand to me
to hold You,oh Jesus... I'm no longer in the cold
And yet I leave You there when I feel satisfied
I'd like to thank You everyday not only when I feel that way
I've never known a man who'd give His life for sinners like me
And yet because He loves us so He promised us eternity
And we can have His promise and be His if we have faith and just believe..

Teach us to trust in You with all our heart
to lean not on our own understanding
cause we just forget You won't give us what we can't bear
Take us out of the dark our Lord We don't want to be there
Yeah, My Lord

Teach me to trust in You with all of my heart
to lean not on my own  understanding
'cause I just forget You might give me what I can't bear
Take me out of the dark My Lord i don't want to be alone
You take me out of the dark My lord
i don't want to be there, ooh,ooh...hah...

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 05:42 pm
what the soul says (2)  

Monday, September 05, 2005
.:: when I am HURT ::.

--A Prayer of Forgiveness--

Lord Jesus, how difficult for me
to treat with forgiving love
those who have offended me!
Vengeulness rages in my heart, and
in my thirst for getting even, I dare call "justice"
what is only bitter revenge.

But you tell me:
"Relent! Forgive!
Correct your eering brother or sister
with patient love.
Remember the times when you hurt other people,
and your deep yearning to be forgiven.
Remember my command that you treat others
the way you would like to be treated."



Lord, I know your are right.
But you know how hard it is for me
to do as you say.
Help me do just that.
Help me consider not the hurts i suffered,
but the hurt they will suffer in the jail of hell
if they do not stop hurting their neighbor.
Help me be not an instrument of your punishment,
but a channel of your mercy,
a prophet who leads offenders to conversion.

Let my forgiveness of my offenders
be sincere and clad with gentleness --
so sincere that i may wish
and work for their repentance,
so that they and I may be together in heaven
like the BEST of FRIENDS...

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 04:20 pm
what the soul says (1)  

Thursday, September 01, 2005
"ber" month na... bilis ng araw!!!

"malamig ang simoy ng hangin... may saya ang bawat damdamin...
ang tibok ng puso sa dibdib... para bang hulog na ng langit...
.....
wala ng kalungkutan... puno ng kasayahan..."



hmmm... "BER" month na!!!
ang ibig sabihin malapit na naman ang Pasko...
at sabi nga sa kanta, malamig na naman ang simoy ng hangin at syempre eto ang panahon na masarap ang matulog at nakakatamad ang bumangon sa umaga... (lalo na kung may katabi at kayakap ka sa pagtulog...)
sana lang totoo din ang sabi sa kanta na sa tuwing sasapit ang panahon ng Pasko masaya ang lahat ng tao... kaya lang mukhang sa kanta lang yun eh... *sigh

sa kabilang banda...
bakit ba parang ang bilis-bilis ng araw???
parang kelan lang pumasok ang year 2005 tapos ngayon matatapos na ulit...
hindi ko nga maalala kung meron ba akong nagawa kahit isa man lang sa mga new years resolution ko... hehehe

hmmm... sana lang kaya ko sabayan ang bilis nito... hehehe
wish ko lang na sana sa paglipas ng bawat araw isa-isa kong nakakalimutan ang lahat ng mga bagay na dapat ko ng kalimutan...

hahaha... senti mode na naman ba ako???
hindi no!!!
sabi nga mga friends ko "blooming" daw ako dis past few days eh... (palakpak naman ang tenga ko at di matawaran ang ngiti... hehehe)
hmmm, marunong lang talaga ako magdala pero dami ko rin kaya problema... *sigh


wala lang ako magawa kaya eto kahit walang sense ang pumapasok sa isip ko sa mga oras na ito... sinusulat ko pa din...
sumasakit na kasi ang ulo ko sa kaka-aral ng PHP... haaaayyyyyy

wala na akong maisip na mailagay pa...
sabay-sabay na lang nating hintayin ang pagsapit ng Pasko...

Merry Christmas in Advance na lang sa lahat... hehehe

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 10:14 am
what the soul says (1)  

Friday, August 26, 2005
.:: love and chocolate ::.

"masarap daw umibig...
may honey, sweetie,
gummybears, cupcake,
sugar at marshmallows pa!
hmmm...
masarap pala!
eh bakit may umiiyak pa?
ahhh...
cguro kc,
sumakit
ngipin nila!!!"




a text message i received last night from a friend while i'm on my way home...
well, after ko mabasa natawa ako at napaisip...
masarap naman talaga ang feeling ng umibig eh...
sometimes it's like eating our favorite chocolate (sounds corny pero totoo...)

hindi natin titigilan ang pagkain nito hanggang hindi natin nauubos pero katulad ng sobrang pagkain ng chocolate meron ito consequence in the end... it's either magsawa na tayo sa chocolate or sumakit ang ipin natin at dahil sa sobrang sakit na naramdaman natin sa pagkain ng chocolate malamang matagalan ulit bago tayo kumain ng favorite chocolate natin...

same goes with love and loving someone...

dadating tayo sa point na may mamahalin tayo na feeling nating "sya na talaga"... at dahil feeling natin na both of you are meant for each other halos ayaw mo na syang mawala sa paningin mo at gusto natin na makasama sya sa lahat ng oras at lahat ng araw... we made them part of our life and sometimes we never notice na sa kanila na umiikot ang mundo natin...
kaya lang tulad nga ng pagkain ng favorite chocolate natin hindi natin namamalayan na meron ding ibang tao sa paligid natin na gusto matikman yung chocolate na kinakain natin or rather gusto tayong bigyan ng ibang klase ng chocolate para matikaman natin... hindi natin napapansin na nababalewala natin sila kasi yung attention natin asa favorite chocolate lang natin...

pero pano nga kung dumating yung point na sumakit na ang ngipin natin because of eating too much of our favorite chocolate or magsawa na tayo at maghanap ng ibang chocolate???

okei lang sana kung magsawa tayo sa favorite chocolate natin kasi ang asa isip natin marami pa naman chocolate na pwede natin i-try tikman, but the problem is... what if wala na magbigay satin ng ibang chocolate kasi nagsawa na sila sa kakahintay na magustuhan natin yung chocolate na willing nilang ibigay???

should we stick to our favorite chocolate kahit nagsasawa na tayo kainin???

but the saddest part i guess is pag dumating yung time na sumakit na ang ngipin natin because of eating too much of it... we have no choice but to suffer for the pain that cause by it... well, kasalanan din naman natin kung bakit masakit d ba? we ate too much and never give some to others... like in love, we gave almost everything without thinking about the others na asa paligid natin... to the point na minsan hindi na natin iniiisip ang pwedeng kahinatnan ng ginagawa natin basta ang alam natin masaya tayo ngayon kasi masarap ang chocolate or rather masarap yung feeling na nararamdaman natin ngayon pero hindi natin naiisip na lahat may katapusan...

kaya ayun masakit na ang ngipin natin dahil sa sobrang pagkain ng chocolate tulad ng sakit na mararamdaman natin pag sobra yung love na binigay natin kasi kahit sa sarili natin wala na tayong tinira... at sa bandang huli iiyak na lang tayo kasi hindi natin alam kung pano ba mawawala yung sakit na nararamdaman natin...

ako mismo minsan ko nang naranasan ang ma-addict sa isang chocolate kasi ang buong akala ko kahit matibay naman ang mga ngipin ko hindi ko mararamdaman na sasakit ito... pero nagkamali ako... dahil kahit na 3x a day pa ako mag-toothbrush para walang cavities na maiwan ang pagkain ko ng favorite chocolate ko...

sumakit pa din ang ngipin ko...
umiyak pa din ako...

at lahat ng cavities na dulot ng pagkain ko ng favorite chocolate ko alam ko na hanggang ngayon and2 pa din sa ngipin ko... pero naisip ko nang pumunta sa dentist ko... magpapalinis ako at papatanggal ko lahat ng cavities na naiwan dun...

hindi pa din ulit ako handang kumain ulit ng chocolate kasi natatakot ako kasi alam ko na pag nakatikim ako ng chocolate na masarap hindi malayong maging favorite ko ulit ito... ganun ako eh... baka sa susunod na sumakit ang ngipin ko hindi na kayanin ng cleaning lang at kailangan pang bunutin ang ngipin ko... ayoko nun kasi ibang klaseng sakit na naman yun...

kaya hanggang candy na lang muna ako ngayon... hehehe
iba't ibang klase ng candy ang titikman ko...
malay ko ba kung hindi lang pala sa chocolate mag-eenjoy ang panlasa ko at andun din sa isa sa mga candy na natikman ko na at matitikman ko pa...

so ano nga ba ano ang lesson???

first, share your chocolate to others... let the chocolate melts into others mouth and not only to yours... it doesn't mean naman na pag ni-share mo sa kanila yung chocolate mo magugustuhan din nila yun... ang mahalaga dun binigyan mo ng pagkakataon ang iba na matikman yung chocolate na nagpapasaya sayo sa tuwing kinakain mo...

second, don't refuse to taste some other chocolate... hindi yung di mo pa nga naitikman eh ayaw mo na kasi gusto mo lang yung favorite mo... who knows may mas masarap pa pala sa chocolate na favorite mo ngayon and yun pala yung chocolate na mag suite talaga sa panlasa mo at nabulag ka lang sa lasa ng favorite chocolate mo...

and last but not the least, let's keep in mind na lahat ng sobra masama... never forget to leave some for others para at least hindi lang ikaw ang sasakit ang ngipin pag nagkataon... may kasama ka na iiyak at pupunta sa dentist para magpa-linis at magpatanggal ng cavities... hehehe (just kidding)


masarap ang chocolate...
masarap magmahal...
but keep in mind that eating too much of it can make our teeth hurt... like loving too much that can make our hearts cry...

 

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 04:08 pm
what the soul says (2)  

Thursday, August 25, 2005
-= what LIFE is all about =-

LIFE isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the colour of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that.
But LIFE is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about TRUST, HAPPINESS, and COMPASSION. It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with LOVE. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise.
These choices are what life's about. --from Nike Ad

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 10:38 am
wat do u think???  

Wednesday, August 24, 2005
back to zero daw ako...

just talked to my friend Arlene on the fone and i confess to her that i txted him again but i promise her that i just wanted to let him know what i really feel...
ang bigat nman kasi talaga sa dibdib yung may tinatago akong sama ng loob eh and at the same time i know to myself that i owe him an apologize too for everything that i've said a week ago... and since i know that it's one reason why i do have sleepless nights na naman kaya ayun i made this 10-part long message and sent it to him last night...

"Forgiving is giving hate a piece of empty room in our heart!"
i do hav dat empty room in mine... i just wishd dat i have mine in urs! i thought dat i can live my life now thnkng dat i hate u so much but d more i thnk abt it, d more i can feel this pain inside me! i knw dat SORRY is jst a word and u can only feel d sincerity if u can see it n d eyes of d one hus saying it... bt still, i jst wntd 2 say SORRY for everythng dat i've said... at least d ko man nsabi sayo personally, alam ko sa sarili ko dat i already did wat was d ryt thng 2 do. ang bigat kc sa dibdib ng may sama ng loob at galit n tntago. At ngyon since nsbi ko na, dumating man yung time na mgkta ulit tayo, kya ko ikaw tingnan ng diretso sa mata at hnd ko kailangan umiwas... u're still worth keeping Jet kht na puro pain and tears ang nramdaman ko dhl alam ko na may rason kkng bkt ka dumating sa buhay ko! hbang gngawa ko ito, alam kong isa lang ang dhlan kng bkt ko gngwa ito... dhl mahal pa din kta! naghntay ako at umasa pero ngayon bibitaw na ako sa pangako mo! kng magbago k man masaya na ako kht hnd ko na malaman... hnd ko alam kng hnggang kelan p kta iicpn at mamahalin... basta ang alam ko lang ngyon, ggwin ko ito hndi na para sayo kundi para sa sarili ko... kng anuman yung reason mo kng bkt pinili mo sya at iniwan mo ako, hnd na mahalaga sakin yun! again, SORRY sa mga nasabi ko! and for the last time ssbahin ko ulit sayo ito...
S-H-M-I-L-Y Jet!
can u send my angel back 2 me now? kc i thnk i'll be needing him already knowing na wala kna tlga!"

kaya ayun sabi sakin ng friend ko back to zero na naman daw ako... we're counting the days kasi na hindi ako dapat mag-text or gumawa ng kahit ano para magkaroon kami ng communication... the longest time i did that was 3mos and sabi nya sakin since nakaya ko yun alam nya na mas makakaya ko pa ng mas matagal... i should think about it daw kasi it's for my own sake din naman... well, i know naman na tama sya...

kaya eto start counting and marking my calendar again hanggang sa dumating yung araw na hindi ko na sya maaalala pa...

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 04:32 pm
what the soul says (1)  

Tuesday, August 23, 2005
.:: a reality check in a relationship ::.

"What a girl needs most is love.
What a guy needs most is respect.
The most important thing for a girl is her heart.
For a guy its his ego."

Give your man his own time and space...
Let him have his time for his friends, sports, family, self, and God. The relationship will grow old quickly if lagi kayong magkasama. Give him time to miss you and you'll see how he will love you more. If the guy naman is obsessed and just wants to be with you all the time, tell him you cant respect a "puppy" for long.
Do things differently anytime...
Discover something you both like to do and enjoy it TWOgether.Doon naman sa mga bagay na magkaiba ang hilig nyo, compliment each other by learning about it. If you love someone, yung effort nyo to try will go a looooong way to understanding him later pag may disagreement kayo.
Pray with holding hands...
Sounds corny noh? Maybe, but its very powerful. Pag may takot sa Diyos ang boyfriend mo, kampante ka na di ka nya lolokohin, because he knows God sees everything he does in secret. Ikaw na ang magkusa that before you part after date, with hold hands and eyes closed, pray to God to bless you two. Believe me it's effective. Kailanman, di corny ang magdasal.
Believe in "Magic"...
Kahit di minsan practical o walang logical na dahilan, o matrabaho, o sounds crazy sa iba, do sweet little things for the one you love kahit magmukha ka ng timang. The memories will be fun to recall later in life. True love brings out the best in each other. Find something good in your boyfriend and nurture it, encourage it and syempre, ENJOY it.
It's healthy to fight...
Doon nyo lang maaayos ang mga differences nyo at natetest ang tatag ng relationship. Doon mo rin sya makikilala ng mabuti. Its called test of fire. Di mahalaga how often you fight. What matters is how often you kiss and make up. Mas nakakatakot yung relasyong sobrang perfect at laging masaya. One big fight and that's it! And diba mas kilig yung malambing na... "uy, bati na tayo..."..but don't overdo it.
Don't sweat the small stuff...
Daraan sa iba't-ibang stages ang love especially pag matagal na kayo. Grow with it. Don't expect him to be like nung una. 'Coz like a student, di na ituturo sa grade 6 yung lessons na pang-grade 2. Change WILL happen... you both will change and your love WILL change too. It's up to you na lang if the change will be for the better or for the worse.
Life is about growth...
Grow with it. When break up comes and it's time to say goodbye, don't doubt the love just because it didn't last. May mga bagay sa buhay na di man nagtatagal, it doesn't mean di na ito totoo. Some good things are just never meant to last forever. Okay lang yon. Bless the parting and move on. Expect tears, sorrow, sleepless nights and pain. Ika nga "it's when you hurt the worse that you love the MOST." Kung di ka willing masaktan, wag ka na lang magmahal.

Life is a balance. And love is both holding on and letting go. Know when to fight for your man and when to let him go. God will guide you kung anong dapat gawin sa kung anong sitwasyon. So dapat mataas ang signal ng langit sa cellfone ng puso mo to know His wisdom.


--got this artik from one of the blogs in the bloggie world... i may not be in a relationship right now but still i can rely into into once i hook into another... i know that in one way or another, all of us will be in this kind of situation and i just want to share this to all of you guys out there... maging single or in a relationship man...

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 03:39 pm
wat do u think???  

Monday, August 22, 2005
.:: a weekend that was ::.

its been a week ko na nararamdaman ang sakit ng katawan ko na ito... di ko na lang pinapansin kasi lam ko na nman na posibleng nabigla lang ulit mga muscles ko dahil sa training... pero grabe di talaga ako pinatulog ng sakit last Saturday evening... buti na lang asa bahay ako...

neways, okei naman ang weekend ko...

gising na ako 5:00am ng Sat again para sa training... i waited for my teammate for almost 15mins kasi sabay ako sa kanya papunta ng CCP... buti na lang din hindi ako masyado nag-row kasi i was already training as a signal (in short tagpag-utos ng gagawin nila... hehehe) nakakatuwa na nakakainis kasi daming beses ako pumalpak sa counting ko... (hello... d naman kasi ganun kadali ang mag-signal... if i were to choose, i'd rather row na lang kesa mag-signal...)
stay din kami sa mabaho at maduming Manila Bay for almost 1.5hours...
sabi nga ng isa sa tema mate ko...
ang rowing ay para sa mga taong gustong gumising ng maaga... para sa maga taong gustong malanghap ang mabahong amoy ng bay, para sa mga taong gustong masigawan at higit sa lahat para sa mga taong gustong sumakit ang katawan... (lalo na pag baguhan ka lang... been there)

after ng training, uwi na ako kasi may appointment pa ako ng 10am sa Robinsons Place-Manila... meet ko kasi yung pinag-orderan ko ng Korean Series na ipapadal ko sa tita ko sa Italy... buti pa yun makakarating na dun... i arrived there early at actually di pa sya bukas at my gosh ang dami na kagad ng tao... kasi naman pala SALE... kaya ayun pagbukas na pagbukas ng mall, nagmamadali ang mga tao... si ako naman nakisabay na din since wala pa sa location yung kausap ko... tingin-tingin at ikot-ikot muna ako... haaayyyy, buti na lang eksakton pera lang ang dala ko at di ko rin dala ang credit card ko... kung nagkataon patay na naman ang budget ko... kaya after ko meet yung kausap ko at makuha yung mga vcd's diretso na ako uwi kesa ma-temp pa ako na bumili kasi may natira pa ako 700 sa wallet ko...

pagdating ko ng dorm, ayos ko lang things ko tapos alis na ulit ako at diretso na ng ofc... i arrived there at exactly 11:55 AM so pwede na ako umalis ng 3:55PM... haaaaayyyy, tagal maghintay ng oras ha tsaka gusto ko na umuwi ng bahay at magpahinga... bigat pa naman ng dala kong bag (2weeks na maduduming damit... hehehe) at exaxtly 3:55PM nga sa swipe machine nag-out na ako... byahe na pauwi ng probinsya... gusto ko man matulog sa bus hindi ko magawa kasi lalaki ang nakatabi ko (mahirap na... hehehe) haaaayyyy, medyo trapik pa sa south super hi-way kaya mag 6PM na ako nakarating ng bahay... sarap ng feeling ng makauwi (ewan ko ba kung bakit masarap sa bahay pero madalang naman ako umuwi dun... ironic no???) kahit basang basa na ng mga laway ng mga bulilit kong pinsan ang pisngi ko s amga kiss nila... wala akong pakialam, kasi ang sarap ng feeling na alam ko na sobrang na-miss nila ako...

kain ako ng dinner... sobrang sarap talaga ng lutong bahay... tinolang native na chicken, ginisang kabute (mushroom) at take note hindi yung asa lata na mushroom ha at tsaka dinuguan... pero sa tinola at ginisang kabute pa lang solve na solve na ako... dami ko na naman nakain
after ko kumain punta ako sa bahay ng lola ko at kumakain na din sila pero may kakaiba dun... may pipino at syempre it's mah favorite kaya kain na naman ako...
after dinner, punta kami ng pinsan ko dun sa isang bahay ng mga pinsan namin na malapit lang kasi may birthday party the following day... may videoke kasi at syempre madaming tao... typical na okasyon sa probinsya... (hindi mo na kailangan magbayad ng makakatulong kasi kusa silang nagdadatingan...) at dun nakita ko din ang mga forever crush... hehehe (hanggang crush lang kasi ako sa kanya kasi lam ko magpinsan kami... hahaha) though sa tuwing magkikita kami at mapapadaan sya sa bahay namin lam ko naman na may lihim din syang pagtingin sakin... (hahaha wish... ) syempre birthday party kaya daming kailangan prepare at tumulong na din kami sa pag-prepare... daming bllopers na nangyari sa preparation hehehe...
10:30PM uwi na kami ng mga mommy ko... pagdating ko ng bahay nanonood pa ng tv sister ko pero di na kaya ng powers ko at sobrang sakit na talaga ng katawan ko kaya natulog na ako...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

7am the next day gising na ako kasi ang iingay na ng mga bata... naglalaro kaya kahit gusto ko pa matulog hindi na din ako makatulog... gumising na lang ako at nakpiaglaro sa kanila... hehehe
after breakfast, prepare na kami para dun sa birthday party ng pinsan ko... sooooobraaaaaang dami ng tao... imagine ba naman na 5baboy na ang kinatay nila nagkulang pa rin kaya nagpahabol at nagkatay pa ulit sila ng isa... my gosh... ibang klase talaga ang handaan sa probinsya... wala ako masabi...
sa sobrang dami ng tao... sobrang init na din kaya naisipan namin na umuwi na lang muna ng bahay mga around 2PM at nood na lang sana kami nung Korean movie na dala ko kaya lang brown-out naman... kainis... natulog na lang ako pero saglit lang din kasi ang init ng panahon... mga after 30mins nagkaroon na ng kuryente kaya ayun tuloy na namin yung panood nung Korean moveis na dala ko... nauna namin pinanood yung "SEAWIND"... okei lang sya hindi ganun kaganda unlike yung sunod na pinanood namin na "A MOMENT TO REMEMBER"... na sa sobrang ganda ng story nya kahit ang tita ko napaiyak... at eto ang isang line dun na hindi ko talaga makalimutan from that movie...

"FORGIVING is giving HATE a piece of empty room in our HEART..."

hindi tuloy ako nakasabay sa pinsan ko ng pagbalik ng Manila dahil tinapos ko sya pero actually ayoko pa naman talaga bumalik ng Manila that time... hehehe
after ng movie, punta ulit kami ng mommy ko dun sa haus ng pinsan ko... at sobrang nagulat ako na gabi na dating at dating pa din ang bisita... my golly gosh talaga... hehehe
ayun, kain na naman sia ako pero desert lang naman habang pinanood ko yung mga nagkakantahan sa videoke... at isa na nga dun yung crush ko... hehehe... buti na lang hindi nya alam na crush ko sya... habang pinapanood ko sila, lumapit sakin yung isang pinsan ko na guy na andun din sa mga nagkakantahan... tagal-tagal ko na din sila hindi nakaka-kwentuhan tulad ng dati na halos palagi kami magkakasama na tumatambay... ngayon kasi sila na lang yun... sabi nga samin (mga forever na tambay sila... hehehe... dun sila masaya eh...) kinumusta nya ako at ang walang kamatayang tanong na

"kelan ka mag-aasawa???"

haaaayyyy, kung pwede ko lang i-taped ang sagot para sa tuwing magtatanong sila eh play ko na lang ang sasabihin ko... sabi ko na lang sa kanya, magahahanap muna ako ng bf bago ako mag-asawa... sabay ngiti na lang sa kanya... tapos sabi nya sakin... "ayan pili ka na sa mga andyan" gusto ko sana ituro sa kanya yung crush ko kaya lang... hehehe
pero natawa ako nung sya mismo ang nagturo sakin sa crush ko... "ayun gusto mo?" sabi nya... kaya lang maysabit pa yan ngayon eh... (aaayyyy, may gf na pala sya...) tapos sabay sagot naman ni crush ng... "pwede naman i-break yun eh..." o di ba sabi ko na nga ba may hidden desire din sya sakin eh... hehehe (sana nga lang pwede kami...) pero puro sulyap na lang ata talaga kami sa isa't isa eh... ng magsawa sila sa pagkanta... kami naman ng mga pinsan ko ang bumanat... kanya-kanya ng pili song na kakantahin pero hindi muna ako kumanta kasi andun pa sya eh... (shy ako sa kanya... hihihi) kaya nung umalis na sila dun lang ako kumanta... tagal din namin nagkantahan at kahit sobrang antok na antok na ako wala akong nagawa kasi hindi maubos-ubos ang number sa screen ng videoke...
exactly 2AM ng makauwi ako ng bahay...
diretso tulog kasi gigising pa ako ng maaga...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

6:00AM an alarm ko pero 5:30 pa lang nagising na ako sa boses ng mga pinsan ko kasi masasaya sila at wala silang pasok... buti pa sila..... waaahhhhhhhhh

samantalang ako...
puyat pero kailangang pumasok...

8:45Am, and2 na ako sa office...
eto inaantok pa din hanggang ngayon...
at buti na lang walang masyadong load at hindi toxic kaya nakakapag-power nap...

haaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy...
gusto ko na umuwi at matulog...

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 10:24 am
wat do u think???  

Friday, August 19, 2005
change na naman!!!

pansin nyo change na naman ako ng blog address ko...
sabi kasi ng isang friend ko stop na muna daw ako ng pagsulat sa blog ko para makalimutan ko na sya totally at para wala na din syang updates on my what/whereabouts...

pero hindi ko kaya eh...
hindi ko na kaya ang hindi mag blog...
na-adik na din ata ako dito...

kaya eto binago ko na lang ang url niya... (at wish ko lang hindi na nya malaman ito para wala na din sya mabasa...)
cguro nga tama silang lahat...
tama silang lahat na ako din ang nagpapahirap sa sarili ko for always entertaining the thought of him... (katulad ngayon... but this time it was different i know...)

ilang beses ko na ba binalak i-delete ang blog na ito???
at ilang beses ko na ba inisip na tumigil sa pagsusulat ng tungkol sa kanya...
pero lahat ng yun binalak ko lang dati...
ngunit ngayon desidido na ako...

desidido na ako na tanggalin sya ng tuluyan sa buhay ko...
kung pwede nga lang burahin ko na sya sa ala-ala ko... pero alam ko naman na hindi pwede kasi kahit na ilang beses pa ako makabuo ng 9weeks na novena sa baclaran... malabong mangyari ang gusto ko... ang tanging magagawa ko lang ay ang tulungan ang sarili ko...

tulungan ang sarili ko dahil para din naman sakin ito...
dahil habang patuloy ko syang hinahayaan na maging parte ng buhay ko...
patuloy pa rin akong masasaktan...
sabi nga ng isang friend ko...
"STOP MAKING YOURSELF SPECIAL FOR HIM AND ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE JUST NOBODY TO HIM..."

at yung isang friend ko naman...
"HELP YOURSELF TO HEAL YOUR OWN WOUND..."

buti pa nung bata ako... pag nasusugatan ako nasaktan at umiyak man ako... sandali ko lang nararamdaman... itutulog ko lang pag-gising ko handa na akong masugatan at masaktan ulit...

buti na lang madami akong TRUE FRIENDS...
yung di ako iniiwan...
na kahit paulit-ulit lang ang naririnig nilang rason sakin kung bakit ako umiiyak... patuloy pa din nila akong pinapakinggan...

there are so many reasons nga for me to be happy...
matigas lang kasi ang ulo ko na minsan mas gusto ko yung pansamantalang happiness lang instead of na pang-matagalan...
aminado naman ako na palagi akong nagmamadali eh...
samantalang ako mismo ang palaging nagsasabi na "baby steps lang..."

masama pa din ang loob ko...
mabigat man sa dibdib na may kinikimkim akong sama ng loob ngayon... siguro hayaan ko na lang muna at hintayin na lang na ang panahon ang kusang magpawi nito... hindi naman siguro masama yun lalo na kung para naman ito sa sarili ko...

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 07:45 pm
wat do u think???  

Wednesday, August 17, 2005
.:: beginning today ::.

Beginning today i will no longer worry about yesterday... it is in the past and the past will never change... only i can change by choosing to do so...

Beginning today i will no longer worry about tomorrow... tomorrow will always be there, waiting for me to make the most of it.. i cannot make the most of tomorrow without first making the most of today...

Beginning today i will look in the mirror and i will see a person worthy of my respect and admiration... this capable person looking back at me is someone i enjoy spending time with and someone i would like to get to know better...

Beginning today i will cherish each moment of my life... i value the gift bestowed upon me in this world and i will unselfishly share this gift with others...

Beginning today i will make a moment to step off the beaten path and to revel in the mysteries i encounter... i will face challenges with courage and determination... i will overcome what barriers there maybe which hinder my quest for growth and self improvement.

Beginning today i will take the life one day at a time, one step at a time... discouragement will not be allowed to taint my positive self-image, my desire to suceed or my capacity to love...

Beginning today i walk with renewed faith in human kindness... regardless of what has gone before... i believe there is hope for a brighter and better future...

Beginning today i will open my mind and my heart... i will welcome new experiences... i will meet new people... i will not expect perfection form myself nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in an imperfect world... but i will applaud the attempt to overcome human foibles...

Beginning today i am responsible for my own happiness and i will do things that make me happy... admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen to my favorite music, pet a puppy, soak in a bubble bath... PLEASURE, can be found in the most simple of gestures...

Beginning today i will learn something new; i will try something different; i will savour all the variou flavors life has to offer... i will change what i can and the rest i will let go...

"i will strive to become the best me i can possibly be..."

SimpLe ThoughTs by jhenskie posted at exactly 04:45 pm
wat do u think???  

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